3/15/07

Ann Coulter: Lesbian in Disguise







Ok, maybe it's just me (although I know a lot of people would agree) that Ann Coulter is totally a repressed lesbian just waiting to throw herself out of the closet. Think about it, she has built her reputation on the notion that she is this completely angry, virtually fascist, utterly conservative, foul-mouthed, man-hating Republican. And what has this gotten her so far (besides a lot of hatemail)? A boatload of attention from both sides of the political spectrum. Despite a strong following of conservative superfans, everyone will agree she is losing her place in the spotlight. There's this theory that Republicans have the biggest secrets (how do you hide an elephant in the room?) On the contrary, Liberals have nothing to hide and therefore can be morally and sexually free. You have these uptight, ultra conservatives who believe everyone should live by their standard of moral code (which translates into Bible quoting as a means of justification). It's these people who harbor the deep, dark secrets that usually resurface years later as child porn rings, swinger sex parties, beastiality and [GASP] HOMOSEXUALITY (to name a few). These repressions make them do and say crazy things, like their latent homophobia and die-hard religious convictions (remember the father in American Beauty?). To me, Ann Coulter's verbal garbage can is a cry for help; anyone who is that outspoken about their hatred towards most of humanity and homosexuality can only be hiding their true inner gayness. There should be a campaign to help bring Ann out of the closet. We in the gay community know how important a support system can be. Ann, wherever you are, join together with your true lesbians sisters and come home. You've spent a long time running your trashy mouth and it's about time you faced the music; you hate men, you're gay and it's about time you got laid.

Now, here's a little extra treat from the peanut gallery. I bring you a compilation of Ann Coulter quotes (taken out of context) for your reading pleasures, thanks to the wisdom of Ann Coulter .




"[Clinton] masturbates in the sinks."---Rivera Live 8/2/99

"God gave us the earth. We have dominion over the plants, the animals, the trees. God said, 'Earth is yours. Take it. Rape it. It's yours.'"---Hannity & Colmes, 6/20/01

The "backbone of the Democratic Party" is a "typical fat, implacable welfare recipient"---syndicated column 10/29/99

To a disabled Vietnam vet: "People like you caused us to lose that war."---MSNBC

"Women like Pamela Harriman and Patricia Duff are basically Anna Nicole Smith from the waist down. Let's just call it for what it is. They're whores."---Salon.com 11/16/00

Juan Gonzales is "Cuba's answer to Joey Buttafuoco," a "miscreant," "sperm-donor," and a "poor man's Hugh Hefner."---Rivera Live 5/1/00

On Princess Diana's death: "Her children knew she's sleeping with all these men. That just seems to me, it's the definition of 'not a good mother.' ... Is everyone just saying here that it's okay to ostentatiously have premarital sex in front of your children?"..."[Diana is] an ordinary and pathetic and confessional - I've never had bulimia! I've never had an affair! I've never had a divorce! So I don't think she's better than I am."---MSNBC 9/12/97

"I think there should be a literacy test and a poll tax for people to vote."---Hannity & Colmes, 8/17/99

"I think [women] should be armed but should not [be allowed to] vote."---Politically Incorrect, 2/26/01

"If you don't hate Clinton and the people who labored to keep him in office, you don't love your country."---George, 7/99

"We're now at the point that it's beyond whether or not this guy is a horny hick. I really think it's a question of his mental stability. He really could be a lunatic. I think it is a rational question for Americans to ask whether their president is insane."---Equal Time

"It's enough [to be impeached] for the president to be a pervert."---The Case Against Bill Clinton, Coulter's 1998 book.

"Clinton is in love with the erect penis."---This Evening with Judith Regan, Fox News Channel 2/6/00

"I think we had enough laws about the turn-of-the-century. We don't need any more." Asked how far back would she go to repeal laws, she replied, "Well, before the New Deal...[The Emancipation Proclamation] would be a good start."---Politically Incorrect 5/7/97

"If they have the one innocent person who has ever to be put to death this century out of over 7,000, you probably will get a good movie deal out of it."---MSNBC 7/27/97

"If those kids had been carrying guns they would have gunned down this one [child] gunman. ... Don't pray. Learn to use guns."---Politically Incorrect, 12/18/97

"The presumption of innocence only means you don't go right to jail."---Hannity & Colmes 8/24/01

"I have to say I'm all for public flogging. One type of criminal that a public humiliation might work particularly well with are the juvenile delinquents, a lot of whom consider it a badge of honor to be sent to juvenile detention. And it might not be such a cool thing in the 'hood to be flogged publicly."---MSNBC 3/22/97

"Originally, I was the only female with long blonde hair. Now, they all have long blonde hair."---CapitolHillBlue.com 6/6/00

"I am emboldened by my looks to say things Republican men wouldn't."---TV Guide 8/97

"Let's say I go out every night, I meet a guy and have sex with him. Good for me. I'm not married."---Rivera Live 6/7/00

"Anorexics never have boyfriends. ... That's one way to know you don't have anorexia, if you have a boyfriend."---Politically Incorrect 7/21/97

"I think [Whitewater]'s going to prevent the First Lady from running for Senate."---Rivera Live 3/12/99

"My track record is pretty good on predictions."---Rivera Live 12/8/98

"The thing I like about Bush is I think he hates liberals."---Washington Post 8/1/00

On Rep. Christopher Shays (d-CT) in deciding whether to run against him as a Libertarian candidate: "I really want to hurt him. I want him to feel pain."---Hartford Courant 6/25/99

"The swing voters---I like to refer to them as the idiot voters because they don't have set philosophical principles. You're either a liberal or you're a conservative if you have an IQ above a toaster. "---Beyond the News, Fox News Channel, 6/4/00

"My libertarian friends are probably getting a little upset now but I think that's because they never appreciate the benefits of local fascism."---MSNBC 2/8/97

"You want to be careful not to become just a blowhard."---Washington Post 10/16/98

2 comments:

elizabeth said...

Ann Coulter laughs all the way to the bank. I think she's a tranny.

Timothy said...

She's a man, Baby!!

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