4/4/07

McLesbo's



A hypothetical Mc LESBO’S drive through situation.

Drive through attendant: Welcome to Mc LESBO’S... May I help you?

Patron: Uh yeah, Hi... I'll have 2 organic vegan double fur burgers extra moist.
DTA: No problem. Would you like me to dyke those up a notch?
Patron: Um. What does that mean?
DTA: Well, for a dollar extra you can dyke up those burgers with the Rosie. It’s your choice of a large side and beverage... or for 5 dollars more you can get the Home Depot, not only does it come with extra huge portions but we also include complementary wall paper paste and a pack of heavy duty AA batteries.

Patron: The Home Depot sounds great... I just finished dry walling.

DTA: Okay. Great! Glad we could help out.
What kind of drinks would you like with your Home Depots?

Patron: I'll have organic water and my partner will have a triple shot mochalickienodickie white chocolate soy chi tea.
What about these Jackie Warner fish tacos? How’s the fish?

DTA: Fresh!

Patron: Sounds tasty.

DTA: Oh, it is... I actually just had some for lunch. I can still smell it on my upper lip.



Patron: hmmm. Okay. You twisted my boxer briefs...I'll take two... extra tarter sauce...?
DTA: Sure, two fish tacos. Anything else?
Patron: I'll also take a McRosie shake and an Ellen Degeneres too fucking Happy Meal. Does that still come with the mini flannel for the kids?

DTA:
No Sir… I mean Miss, that was last week, this week the kids get a “Beautify my mullet” hair kit.

Patron: Uh, okay... By the way are you servin’ breakfast? My newly adopted Croatian baby could go for some of those McGreevey griddle cakes.

DTA:
Sorry Miss, we stopped serving those… They became an embarrassment to the community...
But can I interest you in a deRossi dog… or how about a Doogie total bottom brownie, it’s packed with fudge.

Patron: Well, I am curious about this L Word Special... What exactly does that come with?

DTA: Oh that’s a special combo package for the dyke on the go. It comes with two celery sticks, a bottle of ephedra, and a book on how to exploit the lesbian lifestyle beyond what anyone could imagine, of course, Kate and Leisha are on the cover… can’t sell anything without those two. And it’s very popular with the hipsters.

Patron: Hmmm... I think I'll pass... I'm training for the Lesbian Pioneer Lumberjack competition. Got to keep my strength up.

DTA: Hmm... I'm sure you do... Will that be all?

Patron: That’s all for me and the little lady. Oh, By the way, I have a coupon.

DTA:
Of course you do... No problem. You can just pull your U-Haul up to the 1st window.




-Beebo

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