11/9/07

The 100th Lesbiatopia Post:
69 Reasons Why We Love Being A Lesbian

Lesbiatopia is happy to celebrate it's 100th post - in my eyes, it's a milestone and very exciting that we've come this far. In an effort to pop open the proverbial bottle of champagne, the Contributors of Lesbiatopia have decided to share with you 69 Reasons Why We Love Being A Lesbian. Why 69 and not 100? Well, because when you're a lesbian, 69 is so much better and in the words of Dubbs, "We're here, we're queer, and we're sharing it with the world!" So here you go world, our elusive, exclusive and ejaculatory list of delicious fabulousness. Try not to drool while reading. And to the boys - no need to feel inferior, this was all done in good fun.


Lesberita
1. You don’t have to worry about gagging from a “deep throat job”
2. You never have to worry about finding the toilet seat up
3. You can fix your own car and get your hair done within the same afternoon
4. Your orgasms are real. Always. And so are hers.
5. You never have to swallow
6. You never have to worry about facial hair touching you, anywhere
7. No one cares if you don’t wear a bra
8. You can wear a dick and use it better than most guys
9. Foreplay is an art
10. You are your own form of birth control
11. Women smell amazing
12. You don’t feel like a piece of meat, when she checks you out
13. You can cuddle without feeling like you have to “put out”
14. You find a woman’s intellect to be sexy
15. You watch porn for entertainment purposes
16. You feel bad for strippers
17. Orgasms are like Cornucopias – they should called the horn of plenty
18. You never have to worry about breaking a nail, because you don’t have any
19. You can pretty much have sex anywhere, at anytime, while flying completely under the radar
20. Sex in public bathrooms is so much easier
21. 69ing is so much more fun (and a lot easier too)

Hillbilly
22. I love the smell of a woman
23. I get to do the motor boat in my girlfriend’s fabulous tits every day!
24. I love the emotional availability of a woman
25. I love the nurturing care a woman offers
26. I love watching my girlfriend get ready for a night on the town – watching her get out of the shower naked, put on her perfume, do her makeup
27. I like the feel of a soft pussy over a hard, intrusive penis
28. I love cuddling and feeling my girlfriend’s soft skin
29. I love kissing a woman’s soft lips (yes, both of them – cuz I know that’s what you’re thinking!)
30. I get to have a best friend and a partner all in one
31. I get to wear her clothes and use her make-up!!!

Dubbs
32. great nicknames...like carpet muncher
33. sex on a first date...without fear of pregnancy
34. "no man's ever going to tell ME what to do!"
35. it's like dating yourself
36. double the wardrobe, double the FUN!
37. WAY less body hair
38. no spooging in your face
39. women taste better
40. especially the vegan ones
41. one word...BOOBIES!!!
42. "we were just switching clothes, officer!"
43. No 2 clits are alike!
44. Women make sexier bedroom noises
45. Lingerie you can BOTH wear!
46. Double headed dildos
47. The ultimate in feminism
48. Chick flicks are just movies in a lesbians house
49. better kisses
50. no scratchy faces
51. you LIKE when she grabs your ass
52. if it really came down to it, you could totally find SOME dude who'd pay to watch you go down on your girlfriend
53. women don't pass out after orgasms
54. you can do her front ways, back ways, and side ways cuz the wrist moves freer than the hips
55. fingers always fit
56. never having to deal with "morning wood"
57. less farting...which I don't actually know is true but women do not take pride in it
58. you could call her your "roommate" and it's ok

Paula the Surf Mom
59. premature ejaculation? what IS that?
60. Eating pussy is good for the complexion… it always makes mine pretty rosy any way.
61. The trashman never sees used condoms in your trash when he hauls it away.
62. If you work it right you and your partner never have to buy your own drinks when you go out… all you have to do it make out… the guys in the bar will just keep em coming just so you keep it going.
63. Lesbians know that you can do more with your fingers then send text messages.
64. Somebody will always has a tampon in an emergency
65. And your partner won’t get all embarrassed if you send them to the store to get you some.
66. You are very popular… girls like lesbians, they all want to kiss us….guys like lesbians, they all want to watch movies about us… everybody likes lesbians.
67. Two mommies in the house are always better then one daddy on the golf course
68. You are sure somebody can cook
69. It good to have a partner who has a sense of fashion







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2 comments:

Anonymous said...

muy

BOOK_REVIEWER_EXTRAORDINAIRE said...

Wow, I needed to read this. I'm printing this one out, and forwarding it to others...