11/20/07

X-TREME dating!!

-dubbs

I was recently speaking with a friend who wanted an idea for a place for a first date. They needed a place with plenty of alone time together, so they could get to know each other. Being the deep, philosophical type of person I am, I asked the most important question, "Well, how much do you want to know?"

And then I winked at her and she said, "Teach me, professor!"

So we took the rotating bookcase to the stairwell, and down into the laboratory. I put on my spectacles and my lab coat, and I summoned her over to the chalkboard.
I drew this:
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"What is it?" she asked with a puzzled look,

"A parabola grasshopper, but I was only a B- Calculus student. No! This here drawing represents the A+ I got in FUN! You must take your date...to the amusement park!! See that X at the top? That's the apex of fun on the rollercoaster of LOVE!"

She still looked confused, so I took off my lab coat and glasses and sat down in the leather barca lounger with my pipe and a nip of tobacco.

The amusement park became popular during the 1920's when work provided a living with a fair amount of disposable income. For decades since, folks have been seeking an escape from reality into a world of fantasy and adventure. The things you can learn about a person are endless. Plus, these places are designed for a duo, so it's perfectly intimate. When you go with someone to an amusement park...you find out lots of things about their fears. You might find an adrenaline junkie or a scaredy-cat. There's almost always at least one ride that people won't go on...it is interesting to find out why. I'll ride most anything except rides that spin like this:


What else do you learn? Well, for one, this person may or may not have a strong stomach to eat pizza and funnel cake and ride the "Loop-de-Loop" (or in my case, "The Enterprise" as shown above). And two, how do they work in the crowd? Are they patient in line or grumbling? Here is your chance to get to know someone. A lot can be said in a 2 hour wait. It's hard to struggle for a topic when everywhere you look is entertainment. And three, are they any good at the skill games and will they win you a giant Chester Cheeto?

After her hair gets all windblown, if you still find your date sexy, there is a scene set for chemistry after the sun goes down. There are thrills and romance and all sorts of things to discover under a smattering of brightly-colored flash bulbs and the playful sounds of an old Wurlitzer organ. And if all goes well, she will melt in your mouth like cotton candy as soon as you get home.

I'm not speaking from experience or anything, but it will tell you everything you need to know in an interesting form of extreme dating.
My friend smiled and said, "I hate rollercoasters."
At that point I learned why we never dated. See what I mean?


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3 comments:

Paula the Surf Mom said...

What a great philosophy on dating

and what a great post that was Dubbs

Lesberita said...

Dubbs, that post was amazing, although just watching that spinny-ride made me want to die a little.

dubbs said...

"The Enterprise" was a one-time-only ride that my stomach will never forget from the ripe old age of eleven, and now it just reminds me of benders that yielded the same sort of unpleasant spinning sensation.

I can't watch that clip either, man.

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