the "fag mag"


fag mag n. - (short for fag magnet)
1) a lesbian with many gay male friends 2) a lesbian who attracts gay men at the gay bar


Out alone on a Tuesday night for a quick 12 dollar mojito and a rendezvous with destiny, I parked myself at The Abbey, debatably the most renowned gay and lesbian meeting spot (on the L Word, Jenny claims to have met Dana at "The Abbey") in West Hollywood. To the readers from elsewhere, you have not completed your Gay LA Trip without stopping here.

Anyway, I've barely even taken my seat, and it starts. I actually wasn't sure about the orientation of the guy who struck up a conversation with me. I tried tapping into my gay-dar, but the test results came back inconclusive. At first he seemed a cowboy type (he was from Oklahoma, drove a jeep, and his nickname is "Curly"). Then he tells me he paints and uses glitter and said that "the gays" always talk about how wonderful his work is. So who knows, right? Sure enough, he is an aspiring actor (commonplace in LA), so NOW his whole deal is making more sense. It was a little dark and the lights over the bar were red, but I saw that Curly indeed has a handsome Hollywood facade. This being the case, he attracts 2 more men to our little banter, and I see there's no question of their orientation (especially anytime Curly bent over)!

And let me just say that if making friends was a profession, I'd be the best in the business. Ironically, those 2 guys worked in gay and lesbian media, so one of the first things I told them about was everyone's favorite blog, Lesbiatopia!

2 Amstel lights and a cigarette later, we're laughing and hugging and talking press passes to get me and Lesberita into Dinah Shore for free.

But suddenly I realize the strange turn my evening has taken. I made myself pretty and went out fishing for women, and I score 2 gay men and some hot guy. If I was any other sexual orientation, I'd be the luckiest person alive. But life continues to point and laugh at me.

Hence, the "fag-mag" is born!

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Lesberita said...

they don't called you DeWitt for nothing!! nicely done!!

thewishfulwriter said...

Several comments swirling;

1. i die a little bit inside every day because i've never been to the abbey.

2. i too attract gay men. most of mine are crazy as loons though. but i keep them anyway (and like 'em better that way).

3. i will be FULL of envy and jealous rage if you all get free passes to Dinah. i'm comfortable admitting that.

Lesberita said...

heather, your comments are seriously hilarious. you should compile a long list of them and make THAT a blog

Beebo Brinker said...

hahaaa. so funny. I thought I was the only lesbian in the world that was surrounded by gay men... Usually chicks think i'm a fag hag... and i try to explain that they are MY fag hags...

Thank god there is someone else who floats around in this gay abyss that i can relate to.

and i have to agree with wishful about the Dinah Shore thing...

great post!

Wendy said...

I'm feeling left out, I have no label! :(

If the straight girl gay groupies are fag hags and the lesbian girls who attract groupies are fag mags what's a straight girl with a plethora of lesbian friends hmmmmm....? (and no not bi curious!!!)

I just got home from work and told the kiddo she has to conduct a survey at her GLBT youth group tomorrow and inquire as to the best label .... although I'm not sure what a a bunch of adolescents will come up with.... I might not like it!!!! -

Nights_that_never_end said...

Hahaha so very true! I have 5 gay friends and thats all that keeps coming to me

dubbs said...

well, any male friends of lesbians are called "lesbros," but Wendy, I think you'll just have to settle with "token straight girl"