2/24/08

Guitar Hero is for Lovers (and Lesbians)

You're probably wondering what in the world lovers (and lesbians) have to do with Guitar Hero. Well, you'll be surprised to learn there's a lot more than you think.

It all started back at the end of January. I purchased Guitar Hero as a gift for my girlfriend, who had been raving about her playing experience over the holidays. In fact, she wouldn't shut up about how awesome it was which shocked me because up until that point in life, the girl would rather wash dishes than play a video game. I had to see what this alluring game had to offer, why the masses were talking about how it was hotter than disco at Studio 54 and why my anti-video-game girlfriend seemed to have fallen into a Guitar Hero trance.


Needless to say, we had it up and running the same day I brought that little bundle of joy home, and like Johnny Depp in Fear and Loathing, I. was. addicted.

Here's what brings me to my correlation between lovers (and lesbians) and Guitar Hero. Guitar Hero IS



4. Time of Day - The time of day that Guitar Hero is played is indicative of the time that love-making will most likely occur. Is she a morning player? Does she prefer some afternoon delight, or is she the typical 'in-the-evenings-but-only-on-the-weekends-and-never-on-the-weekdays-because-she's-
too-tired-from-work' type? If her playing habits are completely and utterly sporadic, yet consistent and often, than you are going to be one lucky lady, getting those incredible love-making sessions often and around the clock!

5. Finger Work - Guitar Hero is a game of fast-movin' finger work and hand-eye coordination. This is the most important factor of all for scrutinizing her love-making abilities. Do her fingers stumble carelessly like a drunk guy dialing his ex-girlfriend? Does she look like an arthritic with carpal tunnel or do her phalanges grace the guitar buttons with a deliciously seductive ease? Finger work success in the game means you are one sexually satisfied video game enthusiast.

Now that I have taken you through all the important factors on why Guitar Hero is for lovers, I don't expect you to take this information with a grain of salt. In fact, the statistical analysis on Guitar Hero and love-making presented to you in this article has been proven to be almost 95.4% effective (with a standard deviation of 69). So I encourage all of you lesbians to give your lover the ultimate test! Get Guitar Hero and find out how good (or bad) your lover really is.

I can tell you from personal experience that ever since we got the game, our love-making has increased exponentially. I can only imagine what will happen when she beats the game. ;)

To see the infamously hot girlfriend of Lesberitasecond to best, you can watch the video here (I would show you what she does best

5 comments:

For Va Jay Jays Only said...

this test will be posted on the frig...a must for all guitar hero players to take

Lesberita said...

To "For Va Jay Jays Only"- Agreed!! Definitely going on the fridge!

Beebo Brinker said...

Ha! So funny!

guitar hero is fun... but Rock Band is the SHIT! you can play w up to 4 people. There is a singer, drummer, bassist, and lead guitar... so kick ass! its highly addictive and you really feel like your in a band.

My band is called the Fur-burgers

fun for the whole extended lesbo family.

BOOK_REVIEWER_EXTRAORDINAIRE said...

Thank you for this! I LOVE Guitar Hero! I'm "Judy Nails and the Muff Divers", and on the 80's one I'm "The Breakfast Club".

I never thought of any of that before, but it really makes sense, that eye/hand coordination is definitely a plus...

Becky said...

Alls I'm saying is, I've played Guitar Hero 3, Guitar Hero World Tour, Rock Band, and Guitar Hero Metallica and I play expert :D

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