The L Word Episode 512
To wrap my head around the season finale of the L Word I had to remove myself from the comfort of my home and wander over to a local watering hole and have a few beers. I don’t normally write under the influence of alcohol but I needed some sort of self medication to make writing about this episode as painless as possible.
This last episode had its share of… what I would call…cheesy dyke bullshit… but it also had some very important lesbian life lessons that needed to be shared… and with every pint of miller light I slug down my throat I am determined to figure out what they are.
The Old Couple.
Let’s start with Tina and Bette or what some witty ladies out there call Ti-bette (it’s genius… really). After years of fighting, lying, cheating and baby stealing they have found their way back into each others arms. Things couldn’t be better. The only thing raining on their dyke parade is that freaky art piece that Jodi constructed out of sound bites and video footage that she compiled while she was dating Bette.
Maybe it’s just me but, I have to wonder how the writers of the show thought that it would make sense to have a deaf sculptor put together an audio visual display as the revenge laden art piece. There were so many other alternatives that could have been used; perhaps an actual sculpture, a painting, a collage, or anything else.
Jodi is deaf… and there’s audio… I just don’t get it… and when the hell did she film Bette or tape any of the audio anyway?
I know that as viewers we are supposed to think outside the box sometimes, but that shit was just ridiculous and it was super creepy.
In any event after the art opening Bette runs home to Tina to cry. Tina comforts her and suggests she just let it all go. I think that was pretty solid advice. Just let it go. Lesson learned Tina… lesson learned
Alice looks somewhere else
Alice finds herself falling for the cute fashion designer she met on The Look and admits that her relationship with Tasha might be in trouble.
Lesson here: Don’t date girls like Alice
Helena saves the day (and I don’t mean just for the girls on the show)
The only thing that I think was slightly cool about this episode was that Helena came back. But I had problem with the fact she returned home because her mother was stung by a rare jelly fish, which makes me think the writers and executive producers of this hit series might be smoking crack (this something ll have talk about at my next lesbian pow wow). Anyway, while visiting mummy on her pseudo death bead, Helena tells her mother of the terrible things Dawn Denbo has done and mummy Peggy then explains to Helena that she is now in charge of the Peabody fortune and can do with the money as sees fit, so Helena ends up buying the Planet, She Bar and Lover Cindy. How wonderfully far fetched.
Lesson: Get some rich friends and stay away from deadly jellyfish.
It seemed to me that Shane and Molly might have been a couple that could have made it but as it turns out Shane is as easily manipulated by others as her hair is with product. Instead of ignoring Phyllis and letting her relationship with Molly flutter or flail on its own Shane decided to end the relationship by hitting on a girl at SHE BAR. Originality at its best!!!!
I know the L Word is as distant from real life as you can possibly get but for Christmas sake! That was just fucking dumb. I think most of us would have spoken to our girlfriend about their mother accosting them by ugly sculptures.
And, If you remember the same thing happened when Shane’s dad confronted her before her wedding and somehow made her think she was incapable of commit because of her genetics.This is the same fucking thing!
They’ve done this so many times.Make her go to therapy or something!!!!! I agree that there should be some predictability with characters but it this case it’s not entertaining it’s frustrating .
(Time for another Miller Lite)
So, Shane breaks up with Molly and then goes on to attend the Lez Girls wrap up party where she meets up with Nikki.I guess they were both feeling a little down because they proceeded to fuck each other.These two getting together wasn’t a shocker but why do they have to do it on a railing outside… hide under a table or something.
While Shane and Nikki are, ya’ know, Jenny crashes the party and gives a lovely speech about her movie and professes her love for Nikki. Jenny goes to look for Nikki and finds them together. Jenny is upset and proclaims that what Shane did was the ultimate betrayal and blah blah blah blah blah, tears bullshit bull shit, blah blah blah, the rest of the cast. It’s over. Thank God
Lesson here: This is not real life because all lesbians would be locked up in padded rooms if it were.
END L WORD (but keep the beers coming)