The Trans Man Diary: The story of a 25 year old FTM transitioning

I am a 25, fun-loving, Jewish,comedian FTM from Chicago who moved to LA just a few short months ago. My goal? To transition from female to male, and to keep a video and written blog of journey that will be sure to inform and entertain many!!

So clearly, you can tell from the title of that this is about my transition. I was born female and I am now transitioning to become a male. I felt starting this blog would be important for several reasons.

1) It would inform people about my actual transition

2) It would keep people updated on how I am changing day to day, including photos and video!!

3) It would be educational, maybe even fun!!

4) Perhaps it will help other people who are dealing with this

5) It will help raise awareness

Some questions I think I should answer in the beginning of this series.

What is involved in transitioning?

Well, basically, it involves alot of counseling and eventually hormones, and the option of surgeries. I will be sure to get into the details later.

Why did I decide to transition?

I've felt like a boy since I was young. I thought that perhaps I was just a butch lesbian and have attempted living that way, and I still wasn't happy. I finally had to come to terms with the fact that I feel like I've been born into the wrong body and I would like how I feel on the inside to match with how I feel on the outside. After I graduated from college and moved to LA, I decided it was time to take this whole thing on. I know that I am not happy as I am, and I need to see this through. So I began therapy in November, and I have just recently been cleared and allowed to start my hormone treatment.

I received my first dose of testosterone on Wednesday, March 26th. It was an injection that went into my upper thigh. There are side effects of the testosterone such as increased appetite, increased sex drive, emotions all over the place. Basically, I will be going through puberty for a second time!! Oy, but I know it will be worth it in the end. My voice will deepen, I will develop facial hair, my muscles will be more developed, my body will redistribute my fat differently, my face may become more square. I could also develop acne!! I believe within 6 months to a year people will not be able to tell that I was born a female. I don't know how soon I will be feeling these side effects. I can tell you it has been a weird week already though. I'm going through so much emotionally already. I've been searching for a job for six months, I'm coming out to people all over again, I'm building a new network in a new city, etc. So maybe its the placebo effect, but I do feel different a little already. My emotions seem to be a little weird and I literally have had moments where I feel like a 12 year old awkward boy. But maybe I feel that way because I know what I'm about to embark on, so who knows.

However,I am so excited to finally start this part of my life and I want to be able to share it with everyone around me. Having the support of my friends and family is especially critical at this time in my life. So, please, send some positive energy my way in the form of comments on my blog, emails, phone calls, anything. I want to hear from everyone!!! I need to hear from my network of support!!! And please, if you have any questions at all, please ask!! If you feel they are too personal for the comment section, email them to me and I will be happy to answer you!!!

You can follow more about this fascinating journey at the transmandiaries


Softly Dreaming said...


I can't imagine the turmoil of feeling trapped in the wrong body. It's not the same turnoil as me being chubby now, but still thinking I am thin. It's a HUGE deal.

I applaud your courage, being you, and sharing with the world.

Beebo Brinker said...

I'm so excited that you are going to be sharing your story. I think the journey of the trans isn't talked about enough, especially f to male.

I'm def going to be watching out for your blog. You have a lot of support form this lady right here.

Zachary said...

I am also a transman and one day I'll be going through the same thing as you. I will be looking forward to reading and learning from you. Thank you for your courage and giving us more hope into being able to feel like ourselves.

Anonymous said...

my girlfriend of two years has decided this is what she wants, luckily im bi and my love for her will keep me holding her hand all the way through. i am going to keep watching so i can keep telling herlittle bits that will happen because we are only just planning on going to the GP about it!