I Will Blend In When...

In honor of what I call "Pride Season", which is the time of year when Pride Celebrations kick-off around the country, I'm really gearing up to celebrate all the pride I have for my GLBT community. I wanted to share this article with you that I wrote about a year ago when I was a blogger for AOL's QueerSighted.com. I wanted to let the GLBT community know that they should be proud of who they are, and to never let anyone tell them otherwise.

The article itself was inspired by something to someone once said to me, and I quote, "I wouldn't mind gay people if they would just blend in with the rest of the population. Why do they have to flaunt their sexuality?"

I took this statement home with me, I pondered it and it reverberated. I decided I had to write a response to this person, and to anyone else with this mentality, as it seems to come up a lot when people try to justify their "support" for the gay and lesbian community and assume we are "flaunting" our sexuality when in fact, we are just trying to be like any other normal human being; trying to achieve our dreams, hopes, ambitions and to have a life filled with love and happiness. And so to that person and to people everywhere, here is my response:

I will blend in when... I can walk down the street holding hands with my partner without being called a dyke.

I will blend in when... I don't live in fear of being fired from my job for being gay

I will blend in when... I never have to introduce my partner as a "friend" again

I will blend in when... people accept that homosexuality is not a choice

I will blend in when... people stop using religion as a weapon against me

I will blend in when... when gender is about the person and not about their chromosomes

I will blend in when... I can be at my partner's side in the hospital during an emergency and make the same decisions as a husband or a wife.

I will blend in when... I can get married in ANY state

I will blend in when... I can adopt from ANY agency

I will blend in when... the words homo- and heterosexual become taboo

I will blend in when... everyone works together to fight against AIDS

I will blend in when... I can serve freely in the military

I will blend in when... I can dress and act how I wish, without judgment

I will blend in when... my family can be seen as any other family

I will blend in when... I send my children to school without fear of ridicule for having two mommies or two daddies

I will blend in when... I receive equal rights in the workplace for myself and my partner

I will blend in when... everyone can come together and focus on important issues like war, the environment, health care and global poverty

I will blend in when... my relationship is seen as normal and not immoral

I will blend in when... there's no such thing as a closet

I will blend in when... pride parades become an all-encompassing celebration of diversity

I will blend in when... people can look at each other as just a person, and not a result of their gender or how they identify

I will blend in when... everyone can look at everyone else as their equal

When will you blend in?


AnonymousGhost said...

Lesberita, this is amazing. Like seriously, amazing. So true, so appealing to the emotions, you really hit the nail here. Love it!

Sue said...

Wow. Beautifully said.

The Professor said...

I'm hesitant to join this discussion, because my viewpoint is likely different from that of most readers. In spite of this, I have faith that it will be taken with a thoughtful, open mind, since that is what we encourage here at Lesbiatopia.

Trust me, I have great respect for those who've gone before us and helped us move forward to gain the rights we have now. And I am grateful for those who are continuing to push for equality and tolerance and non-discrimination. However, part of me understands the person who said "I wish they wouldn't flaunt it." Granted, I've never participated in a pride parade, but I have been witness to several events where my fellow gay and lesbian compatriots were exhibiting pride in their sexuality. In what I've seen, there was a fair amount of nakedness, sexual simulation, and imagery that I believe really belongs behind bedroom (or kitchen or bathroom or wherever you like it) doors.

Don't get me wrong, I love sex. It is an incredible gift. But I think it's something personal and intimate and special, not something that needs to be broadcast for the world to see. And I think that "flaunting", for lack of a better word, our orientation in such a sexual fashion only serves to perpetuate the stereotypes that many misguided and offended heteros have. They believe that gays are sex-crazed and outrageously debaucherous. But can you blame them, if that's all they see?

I, too, want all the beautiful things that Lesberita describes in her post. I want to live in a world where families of all shapes and sizes are accepted and affirmed. I want to see the rights and freedoms our country cherishes bestowed equitably, without discrimination. I want to raise my children in a society not of genders and races and classes, but of human beings. I want to live to see the day when every person on this earth is just that - a person. A human being who needs food and water and sleep, someone who bleeds when cut. BUT.. if what we desire is equality, shouldn't we focus on what we have in common rather than that which separates?

I believe in fighting for equality. I also believe in celebrating diversity. But there is a fine line drawn if you desire to do both. In my mind, a true pride parade would look more like the Macy's Day Parade. We would be showing the world that we are people who can play in a band, serve in the military, cheer on a squad, make decisions for ill loved ones, adopt and raise children, fight against poverty, war, and other important issues. We can take pride in the fact that we are good people who make this world a better place, and we are worthy of recognition as such.

Then we'll all blend in.

karla said...

I am serious, quiet, normal woman and I love famous Brazil parade for its sensual,and beautiful nude women (mamacitas)Gay pride parade nudy women I love you too. Also I like Wall Disney cartoon and Barbie from Matell. This world has things for everyone. You pick the one you more like. Amen.

MLC said...

Great post - very well written.


t.g. said...

there are crazies in all walks of life which this great country offers. diversity is the very fabric which our freedom affords us. a pride parade contains a lot of crazies who 'draw negative attention' not because they are gay, but because they are sex crazed and exhibitionists, a 'straight pride parade' with this type of behavior draws the same negative attention. There are plenty of GLBT's out there who do not behave this way who still have plenty of pride in themselves, but since we dont get to be shown on the TV, we dont draw the media attention. I would be willing to bet that the media coverage all of these pride parades broadcast fail to mention the voter registration booths, or the spousal battery awareness, or a wide variety of similar wholesome, helpful resources available at many pride parades. In a similar light, there are plenty of Christian people who adore God's diverse creation instead of hate us and want to repress us, however the large sampling of GLBT community fears and hates Christians because the ones who get to be heard over the TV and Radios are all they have to go on. yet there are many loving pastors and church bodies who beg for members of the GLBT community to come join them in worship and be free to be themselves. but the media only covers the Westboro baptist crazies, or the hate crimes, or the extreme versions of 'Church stuff'. Dramatic people will always cause drama. loud people will always be heard first and foremost and will claim to represent the meek, when really, the meek just dont care to comment. and drama will always draw attention. when both sides realize this and realize that the vast majority of representation they have been shown is from the 'few crazies' in the bunch, and that the media has far too much liberty in the selection of what is and is not acceptable in this country, then we will all be better off. And maybe, just maybe, we in the GLBT community DO have a FEW more loud, crazy ones percentage wise than those guys, but we all grew up hearing all the time that we are sick and wrong, and, well, eventually, that breaks down some of the more sane parts of ones brain.

Anonymous said...

you make a very powerful statement in this post that i think can resonate with anyone and everyone who feels that they are excluded from society. i only stand out because you somehow see yourself as different from me. It is inspiring tome that you are able to respond to not necessarily hateful but disparaging or negative comments and actions in such a powerful and effective way.