First of all, a word to my fellow single peeps: dating is hella expensive! First, there's the gas prices, as I'm sure you all know. One date can take up half a tank! Add to that the price of parking, and eating, and whatever else we end up doing.... $$! And we're going dutch! I can't imagine what I would do if I was paying for everything. So yeah, in case some of you ladies were thinking about following in my footsteps - I hope you have a huge budget.
Other than that, though, it's been pretty fun. I went to a new exhibit at a local museum, I ate at a restaurant I'd never heard of, and I even rode public transportation for the first time ever! I met some cool chicks, and had a good time, but as I figured, my stomach remains unfluttered and my spine non-tingly.
Here's my dilemma: how do you relay the message to a lovely lady that although the evening was fun, you don't really care to repeat it? I mean, if the feeling is mutual, it's not a big deal. But Date #2, she really likes me. I could tell by the way she was looking at me that she really wanted to kiss me at the end of the night. But I'm not really one to kiss for kissing's sake; I need to really be attracted to the person to enjoy kissing them. So I stepped back and told her I had a really good time. Lame, I know, but what was I supposed to do? The next day she texted me and told me she wanted to go out again. I kind of brushed it off, but I'm not sure how to tell her that I'm just not attracted to her. I don't want to lead her on when I know it just won't happen. But it's really hard to be blunt sometimes.
Maybe I should be more upfront about my intentions - less secretive about my mission. But I'm afraid that if I tell them I'm dating to learn about dating, that they won't be up for it. Hmmm... any thoughts?
-L.
3 comments:
I think you most definately need to be upfront with her. This is actually the first lesson, in my opinion, that one should learn if learning about dating is the goal. It isn't always easy to be honest and learning HOW to communicate what you want/need/expect is not something everyone knows how to do.
She deserves to know, if for nothing else than saving her a fortune trying to woo you. ;-)
I agree with jadedjabber, you really need to be honest and upfront about how you feel about this woman. Although you may think that telling her your not interested may hurt her feelings, chances are, she would rather know the truth so as not to waste her time and energy wondering about it.
Most women appreciate honesty, even if your telling them something they don't necessarily want to hear.
I spent a good part of 2007 doing the "dating" thing, and I have to say, the older I get, the harder dating seems. However, I think we all need to remember that the purpose of dating is to get to know someone, not to jump into a relationship with the first woman we meet. Dating takes time and energy, and if we were a little more upfront and honest with each other, chances are, our dating experiences would be a lot more pleasurable.
Just say "I had a really good time but there just isn't any chemistry between us" - then follow with the heavy sigh that means I wish there would have been...
It is sort of a "no-fault" response.
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