By Lesbiatopia Political Editor Ma'amselle Lezident
So there are two reasons Sarah Palin rocks.
First though to be fair, let me list a few things about her that make me violently ill:
A. She is a hockey mom first and an American second; she drove Wasilla, Alaska, $20 million into debt while she was mayor to fund the construction of a hockey stadium before leaving to be Governor.
(Sarah Palin Fun Fact: When she was Mayor of Wasilla, Alaska, she called for the banning of certain books with inappropriate language at the library, threatening to fire the librarian for not coalescing with "full support" of the Mayor.)
(Other Sarah Palin Fun Fact: When you are governor of a state with 680,000 people total--approximately 15 times smaller than the 9,000,000+ population of Los Angeles County alone--and you inherit a $5 billion surplus where 1/3 of the economic base comes from oil, distributing $1,200-per-resident oil-bounty bonus checks will probably get everybody to like you.)
(One More Sarah Palin Fun Fact: Sarah Palin has been governor for only 21 months, and she is already under criminal investigation.)
B. She identifies strongly with her family and then whines when people talk about them. ("Look at my family! Look at my family! Look how much my family is a part of my identity! Wait, don't look at them now! Don't mention them! How dare you say anything about them? Okay, now it's okay to look at them again!") As Ted Anthony at AP writes: "Hey, media, leave those kids alone — so we can use them as we see fit." Her party decries "sexism" any time someone mentions a Palin other than Sarah, but did any of these old guys give a shit when John McCain said something pointedly vicious and unnecessary about Chelsea Clinton back in the day? Hell no.
(Yet Another Sarah Palin Fun Fact: Sarah Palin claimed in her speech that her Army son was going to be deployed on Sept. 11, a statement in violation of OPSEC, under which releasing the deployment date of a unit is considered to be endangering both to her son's unit and to national security; it is also illegal and something you would expect a potential Commander in Chief to know better about. Of course, then it was revealed that her son isn't actually deploying on 9/11, so in other words her son is a political tool to her.)
(Hypocrite Fun Fact: check out Bill O'Reilly bashing Jamie Lynn Spears and mom about her unwed teenage pregnancy.)
C. As a feminist and the inheritor of a long line of feminist tradition--men and women working together--I want to shake Sarah Palin vigorously, screaming, "SNAP OUT OF IT. DON'T YOU SEE WHAT YOU'RE DOING TO US? WE HAVEN'T EVEN HAD THE VOTE FOR 100 YEARS, AND YOU'RE TELLING WOMEN WHAT JESUS WANTS THEM TO DO WITH THEIR VAGINAS NOW. HOLY SHIT STOP IT STOP IT STOP IT. HERE'S A BOOK ON THE CONSTITUTION FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS LEGAL PLEASE READ IT AND STOP GETTING IN THE WAY OF WOMEN'S RIGHTS." Who here wants to get raped and have to lie on a dirty kitchen table to get an abortion with a wire coat hanger? Most of the people who read this blog are probably not old enough to remember when that was your only option if you were poor and desperate not to screw up your life and the life of some unwanted kid growing up with insufficient resources to live healthy and happy. Sarah Palin is all about the abstinence-only . . . so long as you're poor or a minority; privileged white kids, you must populate the universe to save the race, I guess. Fuck you, Sarah Palin.
D. She does not believe in global warming; why, because it's cold in Alaska? Her bad environmental record extends to her determination to drill for more oil, in Alaska and offshore; her devotion to oil and "clean coal" underscore her reliance on our nation's limited natural resources to solve the problem of not enough resources--hello?--when instead it should be solved by creating green-collar jobs and funding scientific research to reduce our dependence on natural resources that--surprise!--someday will be gone if we use them all.
E. Her speech at the RNC emphasized "victory" in Iraq over and over, though she failed to outline what "victory in Iraq" looks like. All the Sunnis dead? All the Shi'ites dead? Are the Republicans rooting for somebody? Doesn't matter, I guess, because McCain can't tell the difference between them anyway, and he never wants to leave Iraq. Ever.
Okay, okay, okay, okay, so all that makes Sarah Palin suck.
Now, to the two things that totally rock about her:
1. She made this happen last night:
What is that? Those are the community organizers Sarah Palin was poo-pooing the other night in her speech. That's 700 people at the open house for the brand new Southern California Obama HQ. 150 people RSVP'd, and 700 showed up; in typical Obama fashion, the campaign office was too small to hold everyone, so the party had to be moved to an adjoining parking lot.
When prompted with the specter of Sarah Palin, the crowd jeered and hollered, emphasizing that she was one of the reasons everyone had turned out that night. Women in particular demonstrated their displeasure with her, alternately cheering, "Women for Obama!" and "This mama's for Obama!"
Following the speeches, everyone was invited to come visit the office and sign up to volunteer; however, nearly everyone wanted to stick around, so the offices remained closed to keep within fire and safety regulations. An impromptu Obama rally began on the sidewalk, bringing about all the local news stations (CBS, NBC, ABC) as well as the Spanish-language stations (Univision and Telemundo) as well as eight of LAPD's finest as well as a helicopter.
Volunteers with the campaign lined the streets, signing people up to make phone calls to swing states, travel to Nevada (our nearest swing state) on weekends, and take seminars to learn this community organizing stuff that makes Sarah Palin so frowny.
These people made me realize, this election is not about Sarah Palin. She's a non-issue and a soap opera. The real issue is John McCain and George Bush and Dick Cheney and the NeoCons (who McCain used to shun but who coerced him under threat of withholding their support into a Sarah Palin VPery) and their nasty dysfunctional love affair.
This country is without jobs for its workers, without privacy for its citizens, without money for its banks, without homes for its communities; that happened because of bad political appointments by crooks like George Bush--political appointments that let our infrastructure collapse, let our banks go bankrupt, let our farms go fallow, let our children get sick, and let 3,000 people drown in New Orleans. No one should give two shits about Sarah Palin; who the fuck is she? Look at John McCain, look at Dick Cheney, look at the profits the oil company is making off your trip to work, look at the price of medicine, look at how much you're making at your job versus how much it takes to eat.
Then look in the mirror and say "I am going to elect someone who will appoint judges who govern by the law and not by the Bible. I am going to elect someone whose judgement shines in the people with whom he surrounds himself. I am going to elect someone who believes in technology, diplomacy, and the environment."
Say, "This mama's for Obama."
2. Sarah Palin has bodacious ta-tas.