10/9/08

Long Distance Relationships: My New Illness

If there's one thing I love, it's hopelessly romantic love stories. I'm a sucker for romance and tales from the love side. Two of Lesbiatopia's writers, Mr. Leigh (who tackles butch issues) and Sylvia (who covers lesbian pop culture) have fallen in love. With each other. The catch here is that they are located approximately 2,000 miles apart. I've asked them both to write their stories; how they fell in love, dealing with a long distance relationship and all the trials and tribulations that go with it. Today you will see two parts to the story. First, Mr. Leigh will tell her tale and this afternoon, Sylvia will tell hers. Have you ever been in an LDR? If so, what was it like? Did it last? How did you deal with it? We'd love to hear your thoughts and stories. I hope you enjoy their stories as much as I did - Renee Gannon, Publisher

- Story by Mr. Leigh
I have recently become a victim of a nasty little disease called LDR.
Have you heard of it?
The symptoms are as follows..

-loneliness
-excessive and often ridiculously long phone calls
-excitement over snail mail
-depletion of ones frequent flier miles
-a love hate relationship with the local airports
-text messages up the wazoo
-isolation from happy couples
-automatically adding hours to your clock to compensate for the time difference

If you haven't guessed yet, the affliction LDR is what some in the scientific community refer to as a "Long Distance Relationship". I caught the disease around the beginning of August when my beautiful girl followed her dreams thousands of miles away. (2035 to be exact, but who's counting?) She now resides in Chicago as I hold down the fort in Southern California, together we have been making progress in what is often a fatal affliction. Personally, I believe that our chances of survival are extremely high.


Neither of us expected this to happen. Love has seemed to change a lot for me this last year in what has ended up to be the most romantic and passionate love affair I've ever known. She is my muse, my reason and my dreams. Even from so far away I have never felt more loved and cared for. I know that there is an easy cure for my disease, but I will happily wait here for her until she can bring it to me wholeheartedly.



Even though the distance is miserable and I curse the day Chicago was settled, I've never been happier with my life. I know that she is experiencing so much and I love her to a degree that I have been able to be supportive even beyond my own wildest dreams. I never once told her not to leave. I knew she should go. Her plans were in place long before we started getting serious and I am a firm believer in everyone having a mid 20s adventure far away from home. Now that she has found her footing in her new town, she is accomplishing so much and I'm so proud of her. This entire experience is uncharted territory for us both, so in the ways of handling an LDR we are pretty clueless. No one really seems to have any advise for us, but its not like we'd listen anyways, because we're rebels like that.

I have some pain relievers and distractions, music has been the most effective.
Below is a song I wrote called "On My Pillow." I came home the day she left and found a beautiful long brown hair stretched across my pillow and I broke down. This song and many others have been inspired by recent events and are documentation of my illness.

So far I've learned that time is the biggest bitch of all when it comes to doing the Long Distance thing. Once I can conquer that, this whole thing should be a snap! Maybe I will just finally figure out how to teleport and make things a little easier on us. What?! I could happen!!

I will be back for a check up, Doc.
Thanks for the lollipop.
-Mr. Lone-Leigh

This Long Distance Relationship is brought to you by...
T-MOBILE *Fave5* & Jet Blue Airlines


I taped your letters to my door
the one I had you up against before
the one we closed when all the lights were low
Now I just throw myself in beds
Not looking where I lay my head
Cause if I look down, I'll see your hair on my pillow(x3)
-Goodbye. I've always loved you.
-Dont try. There's nothing we can do.
-I'll learn to fly so I can be with you.
-Dont cry. It breaks my heart in two.
I see your car now everyday
Say all the things we used to say
I drive past motels and wish that we were there.
It seems so hard to look ahead
I still hate laying in my bed
Cause I cant seem to move your hair from my pillow(x3)

7 comments:

Landlady of Fat said...

OMG what a gorgeous couple...

Sooooooooooooooooo sadly about the distance -- but it sounds like it's totally worth the wait. :D

Bestest of luck to you guys!!

Can't wait to read part II

Shannon said...

I, too, suffered from LDR from the day I met Melissa on Jan. 4 of this year until July 5th when she moved here to Atlanta from Michigan where she was born and lived for 39 years in the same city.

Those months of being apart and trying to see each other for a few days every few weeks under extremely difficult circumstances just forced us to build our relationship the old fashioned way: communication. We had to write, chat and call to get our fix of each other and it was never enough.

The fact that I now share a bed as well as a life with her is nothing short of a miracle. My love for her is twice as intense as it was when we were pining for each other from afar and I feel like the most blessed woman on earth to have her in my life. She is truly amazing. I miss her even now as I write this while she's at work. It's sickening!

I wish the two of you nothing but the best. You are building a strong foundation for the happy years that I hope you will be able to enjoy together as soon as it's possible. xoxo

ReneeG said...

You guys are totally going to make it because you both rock my world and I can smell love from a mile away. I wish you both the most happiness in the world... you deserve it!

Anonymous said...

LDR's can end in happiness. If there is any doubt that I didn't make the right decision to move to Atlanta, please refer to Shannon's post. She is the smartest, hottest, sweetest, sexiest, GF ever!

I am blessed
~Sweet Melissa

Mr. Leigh said...

Glad to know we're not alone out there!!!!

Anonymous said...

i've been in a "ldr" for 4 years. She is the love of my life and no woman has ever made me feel like she does. hang in there. the one thing i can tell you about "ldr's" is that there is a bond like no other between you and yours.

Anonymous said...

In july 2007, I met the love of my life. We played high school softball together. We didnt become close until October 2007, but I could never keep my eyes off of her. We started dating Sometime in December 2007. At the time I was a Junior and she was a Senior in high school. I knew she would be going off to college the following august, but i didnt care, besides we were both in high school, and relationships dont always last that long anyway. I was just going to have fun while I could. So I decided, I'd worry about it once it got here if we made it that far.
Needless to say, she left this past august. Even though she is only two hours away, it's hard to find time for us to see each other.
I never thought that we would make it this far, but we did, and it's worth it. I can relate to the song you wrote so much, since she has four day weekends, she comes here more often, and my room is full of stuffed animals and jewelry she gave me, and little things that she often leaves here. My bathroom door, closet door, and room door are all filled with letters and pictures.
i will graduate May 09'. Luckily, our plans work together. I will be moving to Atlanta, GA for college at Kennesaw, one day becoming a psychiatrist. She will be transferring to GA tech in Atlanta to get her degree in engineering.



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--Kris