I'm Just a (Football) Girl

~Cynthia Rodriguez

I've become one of those. September through January will never be the same again. I used to sporadically watch football on and off, including the Super Bowl every year, throughout the years, and mostly MY team, THE NEW YORK JETS. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know, the Jets, I get enough crap about that as it is.

I ventured into this football season not realizing what a novice I was. I've had a bunch of straight women take me under their wings and tutor me in the ways of the gridiron. Yes, it's been quite a humbling experience. I've learned not to say "thingys" and "whatchamacallits" so much and actually use the proper terminology when watching a game, such as "rush", "blitz", "fair catch", and "line of scrimmage". I am very proud to know the glossary now, thank you very much.

Now I see why people get so hooked. It's addicting. Before I knew it, I was checking injury reports, and scoreboards and stats and this and that. Learning names of players, and coaches, and whatnot. In a way it's maybe kinda sad. I must admit, this new past time was probably born out of feeling overwhelmed with doing so much stuff all the time. It's possibly the most escapist, passive, sedentary, non-active, activity I've ever participated in.

It's great when the biggest concern I have on football Sundays is deciding what type of beer to bring. Also to make sure that anyone who comes over bring the proper beverages. Someone at one point suggested wine. Are you freakin' kidding me? It's BEER and football or just go home. We all seem to have our non-appointed assignments for the day. A couple of people do the "tail gate" party type of cooking for the day. I've come to get as excited about the food as for the games. I've even gotten territorial about the seating arrangements, one particular recliner in the household I'm sure by now has a permanent ass print from yours truly.

It's amazing how truly emotional one gets while watching a game, particularly your own team, but that's getting into another type of vocabulary. Not to mention the coinage you begin spending on memorabilia. The whole thing has a little bit of a tendency to get out of control.

As far as actually playing the game, the closest I ever got was wearing the full uniform, pretending to be the "Quarterback", for a Drag King number. That was fun.

Speaking of that, let us not forget a very important aspect of the game. The CHEERLEADERS. That alone is worth watching for. That's a whole other fantasy in itself, and I won't get into that right now.

I know alot of women dread dating someone who is into football like that because they feel they will be neglected during football season, and they are right. I'll tell you what though, if I were in another serious relationship I would not put them in that awkward position. Again, only if it were serious though. If it were just dating or hooking up I say they can wait. Although, I definitely would not turn down sex to finish watching a game, at that point I think I'd just watch the highlights later on-line, or the NFL channel, (which is now my new favorite channel, by the way). Especially if they blocked the television wearing a football jersey and nothing else.

I wouldn't mind that type of interference.


Renee Gannon said...

I'm sorry to have to say this.... but I HATE the Jets. Sorry. I'm a PATS girl all the way. I still love you though!


lol...that's okay. I get that alot. I remember you being a Pats fan. One of our rivals...I still thine enemy... ;)


I mean "love" thine enemy...

Tasha said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Tasha said...

"Although, I definitely would not turn down sex to finish watching a game"

Call yourself a real football fan?


I love football, but I like sex better. :)

Tasha said...

Lol, well said!