Double review: Film and Bar, Coyote Ugly

Alot of "firsts" this week. This is my first bar review. I figured while I was at it, to throw in a review of the movie that was based on the bar.



by Cynthia Rodriguez

If you haven't seen this movie yet, you should really have your Lesbionic license revoked. I mean, seriously, beautiful women, singing and dancing on a bar, what more can you ask for? When this film first came out, quite a few critics were pretty harsh on it. C'mon now, lighten up. It wasn't meant to be Oscar material, it's an eye candy movie, and it needs to be rated as such. I've seen much worse when it comes to eye candy movies, and this is one of the better ones. It's a feel good, light and fluffy, romantic/musical like comedy meant to be watched 137 times, until you know all the words and dances by heart. Yes, needless to say, it's one of my favorites, and it's absolutely mandatory for all Lesbians.

It is the story of Violet Sanford, a young, beautiful, aspiring, struggling songwriter from New Jersey, adorably played by the doe-eyed Piper Perabo, (first time I fell in love with the actress), trying to make it in the "big, bad city" of New York. Throw in a few life obstacles, Kevin (played by Adam Garcia), a cute boyfriend from Australia, who is also a struggling, well, we don't really get to know too much about him, but who cares? It's all about the girls. You also have a lovable, teddy bear of a Dad played by John Goodman, and a gorgeous supporting cast of "Coyotes", which includes Tyra Banks, and Violet's "day" job working at the hottest night spot in NYC, Coyote Ugly. All those ingredients add up to a very fun film you won't mind watching again, and again.

The movie is based on the real-life bar in NYC by the same name. A former Coyote named Elizabeth Gilbert apparently wrote an article called, "The Muse of the Coyote Ugly Saloon" in some magazine, and someone decided to make a film out of it. Works for me. I have not seen the DVD yet. It supposed to have some tasty special features, so I definitely plan on checking that out.

It definitely gives you an appreciation on bartending. I used to bartend. It was one of the most fun jobs I've ever had in my life. Good times. Of course, they take it to a whole new level with their "flairtending", the art of manipulation of bar tools, bottles, glasses, etc. In other words, doing alot of cool tricks with the shot glasses and such. I would also like to mention that Rachel, "the New York bitch", played by Bridget Moynahan is my favorite Coyote. Everyone has a favorite Coyote.

So is it cliche-ish? Yes. But, so what. Some of the most fun movies to watch never go anywhere near any kinds of awards. You don't hear anyone saying they can watch "No Country for Old Men" a hundred times.



by Cynthia Rodriguez

It took me almost a decade to get there but I finally did it. I went to Coyote Ugly in New York City. Now THAT was a fun evening. I did some research first. It has become quite the franchise. I wanted to experience the original one. The one the movie was based on. I read the reviews on it. I thought to myself, "keep your expectations low, and your acceptance high", that way I wouldn't be dissapointed. I pretty much do that with everything. It worked.

I can't tell you about the other locations, just this one. It can't be rated as a night club, or "regular" bar. It's a dive. A good dive. If you like dives, then you'll love it.

Being a first timer, I realize I probably had "SUCKER" written all over my forehead. They WILL take advantage of that, which is of course, part of the charm. I walked in there with my "RORCROTCH TEST" t-shirt which was my solo art show involving painted crotch blots. Without explanation of this, the first Coyote that caught my eye seemed to know what it meant and promptly proceeded to lift her leg up and slam her cowgirl boot on the bar and said, "So, what do you see?", as she pointed to her happy place. Completely catching me off guard, I didn't utter a word. What I was actually thinking was, "my head, right there." Of course, I didn't SAY that, but I was THINKING it. I didn't want to be rude. Besides, the bouncer guy looked kind of scary.

Yes, to me it was just like the movie, except alot smaller, and only two Coyotes were on duty. The one did the twirly stuff with the shot glasses, which are HUGE. They are more like, double, triple shots, which I didn't realize until I had hit the "porcelain alter" later that evening. The other danced on the bar. This was very entertaining. They were both fun, and nice to talk to. It's definitely a SALOON. Meaning country/western type atmosphere. But again, being what it is, I can deal with that.

I immediately became drinking buddies to a native saloon goer who was apparently a regular, and was smart enough to stick to the $2. cans of beer. He filled me in on all behind the scenes, as he called it, "seedy scene".

It IS one of the cheapest places in town to drink as long as you stick to the cheap stuff. Once you hit their liquor shelf and start buying and chugging down shots with the ladies, do body shots, and any other delightfully shameful activity, then you're pretty much screwed. I spent an obscene amount of moolah there that night. Not that I regret it, I'm just stating a fact. And surely, I got the t-shirt. No good tourist leaves without the shirt.

I was probably the only Lesbian there that night, and maybe one out of two or three women, other than the employees. They did inform me that, not surprisingly, they are quite popular among Lesbians. Duh.

Your best bet to get home or wherever you're going after Coyote Ugly is to take a cab. I would not recommend stumbling around the subway. That is, of course, only if you do Coyote Ugly right, and by those standards, I definitely did.


Jeve (aka John and Steve) said...

ha! glad you had a good time. i wonder if the lady whose happy place you wanted to stick your head into was my friend Maria.

Cynthia said...

lol, thanks. No it wasn't Maria. I'll be nice and not "name drop". :)

Cheryl said...

This brought back memories of when my entire office took a field trip to catch a matinee of Coyote Ugly the day it opened. I miss the dot-com days.