1/24/08

How Well Do YOU Know Ellen??

You love Ellen, in fact, you pretty much worship the homosexual ground that she walks on. And who can blame you, really? You own all her stand-up comedy DVD's, you've seen her live at least once AND you watch her talk show religiously. You secretly wish you could have inherited her amazing sense of humor and personality, but you'll settle with stealing some of her hilarious jokes to use at parties and other social gatherings so you can impress all the ladies.

So that leaves me with the question... Do YOU think you know everything there is to know about Ellen (right down to the nitty gritty)? Well here's your chance to find out! Thanks to PlanetOut.com, now you can take the ultimate Ellen quiz and test your knowledge!

Take the Ellen Trivia quiz!

And last but not least, here are some of my all-time favorite Ellen quotes for you to enjoy:

“My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She's ninety-seven now, and we don't know where the hell she is.”


“In the beginning there was nothing. God said, 'Let there be light!' And there was light. There was still nothing, but you could see it a whole lot better.”


“I ask people why they have deer heads on their walls. They always say because it's such a beautiful animal. There you go. I think my mother is attractive, but I have photographs of her.”


"I think people talk too much anyway. Sometimes people are talking to me and in my mind I'm just like "shut up, shut up, shut up...blah blah blah blah blaaaaah."”


“People always ask me, 'Were you funny as a child?' Well, no, I was an accountant.”


"I feel like I have a hangover, without all the happy memories and mystery bruises."


“Normal is getting dressed in clothes that you buy for work and driving through traffic in a car that you are still paying for - in order to get to the job you need to pay for the clothes and the car, and the house you leave vacant all day so you can afford to live in it.”


“Sometimes you can't see yourself clearly until you see yourself through the eyes of others.”


“I gotta work out. I keep saying it all the time. I keep saying I gotta start working out. It's been about two months since I've worked out. And I just don't have the time. Which uh..is odd. Because I have the time to go out to dinner. And uh..and watch tv. And get a bone density test. And uh.. try to figure out what my phone number spells in words.”

“I was raised around heterosexuals, as all heterosexuals are, that's where us gay people come from... you heterosexuals.”

“Friends will write me letters. They run out of room on the front of the letter. They write 'over' on the bottom of the letter. Like I'm that much of a moron. Like I need that there. Because if it wasn't there, I'd get to the bottom of the page: 'And so Kathy and I went shopping and we--' That's the craziest thing! I don't know why she would just end it that way.”

“So, I bought a new cd and I was trying to get it open but couldn't with all the layers..I mean plastic and then tape and the tape is like government tape. It says open here..is that sarcasm?, and buy batteries and they are in there with layers and layers of cardboard and then scissors....you need scissors to get into scissors, what if you were buying them for the first time? you wouldnt be able to get them open. Then you try and buy a light bulb and it's this thin thin cardboard .....what are they thinking? 'Ohh they'll be fine'.”



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