5/13/08

Lesbian Politics: The Nacho Bean Dip of News (WARNING: SEVERELY BAD METAPHORS AHEAD)

Got guests arriving in 10 minutes and afraid you'll never be able to come up with anything current or interesting to talk about? Never fear! I whipped this up just for you. Even if you look at nothing else political this week, learn these headlines! Below is a veritable layered party dip of stories I am dying for you to know.



First, the beans. Like beans, this story just might give you indigestion.

LGBT folk anticipate particular hardship during poor economy.

Next, the guacamole. Smooth, creamy goodness.

Young voters vote Democratic and pro-gay.

On top of that, the sour cream. Sour cream and this story are favorite things of people with munchies.

Barney Frank (and I) totally, totally want you to decriminalize marijuana at the federal level, dude, like, seriously.

(Psssssst, hey Cali ladies! If Barney Frank's bill right there were to pass, anyone with a medicard could grow up to but no more than 6 plants legally (!) and never have to pay for the dankydank again. Urge your Congresspeople to sign before my . . . um . . . er . . . glaucoma! gets any worse. 6 plants would just about fix my s*** right up; wouldn't you agree, Doctor?)

We finish, of course, with the cheese!

You may or may not be able to tell the difference between John McCain and George Bush; what I want to know is, can you tell the difference between John McCain and an old carrot?

Serve with a salty, pointy tortilla chip of pain that will likely cause a 5-inch gash in your esophagus. (Dave Barry fans out there?)

Speculators knock OPEC off of oil-price perch.

OK, and one final LGBT soup├žon in case you get hungry later.

Both sides raising big bucks over marriage amendment.

When you're full, put in fridge to chill, and then you take a nap.

1 comments:

Lesberita said...

Mmm this is making me hungry!

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