9/7/08

This Ain't Politics - No on Prop 8

By Senior Consulting Editor Lori Hahn

Hate politics? This isn’t about politics – this is about our lives and the lives of our sisters and brothers who need your help.

Prop 8, Prop 8. Why, why can’t people see that by passing the anti-gay marriage amendment in California, they are doing the very thing, that if done to them, would send them into civil unrest? How dare they?

I could say that if it passes, I’m heading for Canada. But, that would be stupid. This is MY country too. It’s the country I served in uniform. It’s the country to which I pay taxes. It’s the town in which my children attend school and I help make sure they grow up into productive, positive additions to my country’s next generation. It’s the place in which my neighborhood sits where I mow my grass, grow flowers, and feed birds. It’s the place where I volunteer my time and money to help others not as fortunate as myself.


It’s the place where on many a Sunday morning, I see fathers with little children going out for breakfast – weekend dads getting their little moment of influence in their kids’ lives. It’s the place I see police cars swoop in to haul out an abusive lay-about as the kids and wife stand in the doorway, bruised and battered emotionally and physically. It’s the place where people can wipe away any vestige of a 20-year marriage in an instant by some sort of voodoo so they can once again take Holy Communion. It’s the place where about half of the participants in a marriage cheat. It’s the place where the divorce rate is over 50%.

Obviously, those who wish to deny me an equal opportunity to enjoy the rights and responsibilities of matrimony have done a really swell job of maintaining its high standards.

So, maybe I don’t want that. It’s the kind of institution that has a pretty bad name. But, along with that supposedly holy, sanctified little construct comes tangible and important rights: probate and estate rights, tax benefits, retirement benefits, family law protections, health care options, and a myriad of other little things that should be made available to us if we choose to participate.

The bottom line is what exactly? Equity. As an adult human being in this country, I deserve each and every right granted to the rest of its citizens. Period.

Aren’t in California? Well, it’s time to get on the big lesbian roller coaster kids, because if Prop 8 does pass in California, you can kiss any chance of advancement of rights in this arena goodbye in your state for many, many years to come.

If you’ve ever sat on your ass to watch events unfold, this is not the time. Now is the time to take action. Start here: HRC No on Prop 8 and No on Prop 8

Then, make sure you vote in every single election from city council to president for the candidates who will advance our cause. Your vote DOES count. Every single one of them.



Lori Hahn is the respected author of Hahn at Home and a mother of three.

22 comments:

Sei said...

The Vermont legislature lead by Speaker of the House Gaye Syminton has been busy exploring making same-sex marriage fully legal. The likelihood is that it will pass next year. The majority of our citizens support the move to it from civil unions now.

The subject of rights and marriage angers me given that it is a way to hurt people. The people against same-sex marriage are often more than willing to lambast and hurt others and lie about it. Somehow the idea of denying a child of a lesbian couple the same rights as a straight couple is 'protecting the children'. After all, we have to think of the children! They might get an open mind!

And, yes, it isn't just denying you and me, and every other gay, lesbian, transgendered person out there equality. It is denying our children their rights. It is denying our parents and siblings their rights. Marriage conveys so many rights that are both tangible and intangable that it isn't funny.

I am pulling for California to make the right decision. Perhaps if Prop 8 fails, it will sound the death knell for the opposition to same sex marriage in Vermont.

Paula Brooks said...

Amen Lori...

If Prop 8 passes in California what chance does Heather in Virginia or Shannon in Georgia or myself in North Carolina have to ever get where we deserve to be?

Ma'amselle Lezident said...

Prop 11 is way scarier, you guys; it would be worse for the country, the LGBT community, and everyone else in the universe if we're redistricted into a Republican state over here in the golden state.

We already have the 51/40 split on Prop 8 with 51 percent saying they're gonna vote "No."

Ralph said...

I would think that many Europeans believed pretty much the same way, until they were forced by famine, war, depression, hate, persecution, etc. to come to the U.S. I find it ironic that we, as a nation, proclaim our freedom before the world, only to turn right around and deny natural-born citizens the very rights others are seeking. Believe me, when my spouse retires, I will have no problem leaving this country to get married and reside in another. I was ready to leave had I been called up for the draft in the 1960's, and I would feel no guilt for leaving now. For I am not turning my back on a freedom-loving nation, it turned it's back on me. No alliegance is due to a country that would persecute its' own citizens by passing laws that take away civil rights. Just look to Europe for an idea of what happens to such countries in the end.

1noteasilyfooled said...

ad to think that if I find ANY family members that have voted yes on 8 (and my entire family resides there) The consequences will be for life.

And I will not even budge. They vote yes, they can write me off, forever.. goodbye!

Hahn at Home said...

Ralph - I was not born in this country-I was born in Europe and lived there for many years as an adult as well. This is my country of CHOICE. And, were I to leave it, there would be one less person willing to fight the fight to make us all equal in the eyes of the law. We can't all leave - we can all choose to take action.

Ma'amselle - I agree about Prop 11. We're a red state with a long blue fringe on the left coast. Previous attempts to redistrict have failed, but now they are making it just a little more palatable to the general public and those opposed have voices that aren't quite as clear, strong, and loud this time - it is indeed scary.

Anonymous said...

you know I was not all that interested in this election, my thought was John McCain was really pretty benign to Lesbians and Gays, but once he made his pick for VP I had to wake up...

While McCain may be benign to us his running mate is not and he is a 72 year old man...

Now I think it is time we all wake up.

Hahn at Home said...

Anon - Hopefully, you can wake up a few of your friends too - there's a link to the voter's registration guide in your state in my post - go for it. See if you can get five people to do the same. Let us know if it worked!

Thanks for waking up.

And, McCain is not benign - he stands by the RNC platform, which is marriage is one man, one woman. And, he'll have at least one Supreme Court choice during his first term - that is TRULY scary.

Kris said...

I think this was a very timely post...

Kelly Kerns said...

I live in Florida and we have Amendment 2 to ban gay marriage in this state on the ballot.

So remember us here in the Sun Shine State, we are fight the battle too.

Hahn at Home said...

Kelly - I'll be sure to bring this up in my next post...it's too close to call right now.

Makes it even more important to get EVERYONE you know out to vote - hand them a vote registration form and help them fill it out and put a stamp on it for them if you need to. Get 5 people registered...that's your mission...let us know how it goes.

Dylan said...

The Constitution was written to grant rights, not take them away or limit them to certain groups.

Just where do people get off with this kind of stuff?

Hahn at Home said...

Dylan - From your mouth the voter's ears or ASL interpreter. I hope you are registered to vote wherever you are.

Bessy Lane said...

I live in Ohio and in 2004 there was a Constitutional Amendment to ban same sex marriage in this state.... we did not pay attention and it passed....

Let that be a lesson to you folks in Fla and Cali

Dylan said...

Hahn,

I live in Bakersfield and you bet your sweet ass I am registered.

I want to send a few people around this town a real message we kill this thing.

Hahn at Home said...

Bessy - Complacency is a killer, ain't it?

Dylan - Get that voter registration link and start downloading some forms...

Sei said...

Lori-

I'm here pulling for you all to vote this thing down. And you have a friend in AG Brown, never forget that. He's made it clear that he's going to take it to the courts if it passes arguing that it makes the Constitution of California violate itself. This isn't going to be over by any stretch, but I'd rather you guys not have to deal the courts.

thewishfulwriter said...

Ugh. This makes me absolutely crazy. Unfortunately for Virginia, we've already voted on something similar and while it didn't pass in my actual city, enough people voted in agreement that two people of the same sex should not be allowed to enter into any contractual agreement purporting to be one of the 1100 benefits of marriage.

My friend Sue Moe filmed a documentary about a couple who actually moved from Virginia because of it. I wrote a post for Lesbiatopia a while ago. It can be found here:

http://www.lesbiatopia.com/2008/03/love-story-in-face-of-hate.html

Fucking tragic.

And unnecessary.

thewishfulwriter said...

ps. I love that you are writing and serving as an editor for this site.

love it.

Bessy Lane said...

My Partner and I have been together 14 year, good and bad.
We got together when my kids were 2 and 3 respectively,and I have not heard from their father in 12 years, we own a house together,we own a business together.
But here in Ohio we have to spend thousands in legal fees to accomplish things straight couple accomplish with a 25 dollar marriage license.

Hahn at Home said...

Sei - Good words are appreciated, thanks! You can help too - HRC is accepting donations and volunteers even if you do not live in California at hrc.org

Heather - I fuckin' love ya, man. Keep fighting the good fight by doing what you do so well - write!

Bessy Jane - I know! My former partner and I had to draw all kinds of documents to cover issues that would have been dealt with automatically had we been "married." And, look at you two - your partnership has beaten over 50% of straight marriages in longevity!

Sei said...

Lori-

I wish I could donate, and I might be able to before November. I'm applying for a new job this week, and I hope I get it. Sigh. . .there's so much to get done. I'll stop there and check to see if I can do some volunteer work. :)

Bessy Jane-

I know of so few marriages that have lasted fourteen years. Kudos and I hope it continues strongly :)

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