Lesbians like "Sex And The City", too!


by Cynthia Rodriguez

It's not all about the L-Word, Will & Grace, and Ellen. Lesbians like other T.V shows, too. I mean, we do realize other entertainment exists out there that's not necessarily gay. One day I was scheming with a friend about our pre-weekend plans for our "Sex And The City 2" evening shenanigans. Another colleage eavesdropping couldn't resist on harping me with, "How can you like Sex And The City? You're a Lesbian". As if the show had some kind of secret rating I was not aware of. "RATED 'S' FOR STRAIGHTS ONLY." I was like, "Bitch, please. I read the book by Candace Bushnell, and I've seen every episode". I've loved it for years. Albeit an ex-girlfriend got me into it, as ex-girlfriends do. Each ex leaves their mark on you a different way. You get into some musician or band with one. With another, you learn to love a certain movie after watching it with with them about fifty times. And yet, with another, you get hooked on a particular show. Enter Sex And The City.

So, after this little catty exchange with my nosy cohort, I couldn't help but wonder...

Is there straight - gay segregation in the world of entertainment?

After I typed that last line I thought to myself, duh, of course there is! Just like everything else. Why should this region of activity be any different? When people make snarky remarks, or ask me dumb questions like that I can't help but think to myself, "Should we be using separate restrooms, too? Oh thank you my dear heteros for allowing us to drink the same water. May I go see your straight movie now? In exchange, you are more than welcomed to Netflix "Pink Flamingos" if you'd like."

As you can see, this is not any type of review for either of the S.A.T.C movies. It's just another rant in hopes that breeders can understand that when someone comes out, they don't necessarily cut out all forms of entertainment in their life if it doesn't have anything to do with gay. It's also an excuse to publicly applaud one of my favorite shows of all time .

Sure, I must admit, when I first came out, I almost thought it was a requirement to see, hear, and do all things queer...and nothing else. I felt if I dare strayed from the freshly paved, yellow brick road I'd have my newbie permit revoked and be banished from New Dyke City forever. This was around the same time my then apartment was struck with rainbow fever, when even my toilet seat cover couldn't escape the force of the rainbow pattern. I had to hang out in only places that were gay, listen to gay music, gay T.V, gay movies, all people, places, and things had to be...gay. Well, that didn't last. Like a good little dyke, of course I like my gay entertainment just like the next queer, however, I realized if I could just see over and beyond the rainbow, there was much more out there just as amusing. I made an amazing discovery. Straight people can be funny, too. Looking back at my hetero roots I began to grasp the concept of mixing it up, learning that there was a whole world out there that was fun, too, and *GASP*, had nothing to do with gay. Just because I dropped certain things like...men, didn't mean I had to abandon things I enjoyed before because they would be considered some type of straight tendency. I believe that in doing so would be a bit Lesbo-nazi-ish.

So, getting back to the wonderful world of "Sex And The City". First off, I loved the book. More than I think I want to admit. Okay, so it's not "War And Peace", but so what. I was fascinated by Candace Bushnell's stories. The way she just put herself out there, whether they were true or not, it didn't matter. They were realistic enough. If it didn't happen to her, I'm sure it happened to somebody. I had never read anything like that before. That lion-hearted way to go out there and taste life, love, and everything in between. That's what I like about the lead character in the show/movies as well. Her emotional cojones, her confidence, her swagger. Even during all the pitfalls that would rock her emotional foundation, she at least always had the insight to take a moment to step back and examine what was going on. Her choices, way of life, where she was, and where she wanted to be. I guess it helps that it's kind of her job to do that, being that she is a professional writer. But not just anyone can put their life experiences out there, and serve it up on a delicious platter, for the world to feast on, and enjoy.

I guess this is where the Lesbian side of me peeks through. You won't hear me raving on and on about the fashion, the shoes, oh the shoes, I know, I know, the shoes. Yeah, whatever. Sure, that's nice, too. It's definitely all a very purdy package to look it. Cue the dork in me, this is when I say, it's so much deeper than that. I think the producers were brilliant in knowing how to lure the straight women, and gay men into watching this show. The CLOTHES. Then they got sucked in because it actually spoke of important stuff. Relationships, sex, love, etc. Though, just to point out something about the show's famous clothing. I know it means absolutely nothing coming from someone who owns 500 t-shirts, and 3 pairs of jeans, but I must say a lot of what I've seen them wear and people praise them for, like giant flowers on their chest, and huge, awkward hats that can't possibly be practical in any way, other than for runway models and celebrities trying to be all "cutting edge" on the red carpet, who actually wears any of that stuff? First of all, who can afford it? (See prior sentence). And second, seriously, who wears that? No one looks that fabulous just walking to the store to get some milk. Somebody get me my pajama pants and slippers...

The other thing I love are the friendships. Like TRUE friendship. The kind of, years go by, I haven't seen you in awhile but feel like I just talked to you yesterday type of deal, the people get married, have kids, get divorced, get married again, have affairs, I fucked up, you fucked up but I love you anyway, and I know you love me, evolving, everlasting type of friendship that survives, and surpasses all obstacles, and relationships that may come, and go, and come and go. That tight circle of love that wraps around you, reminding you that no matter what, you are never alone. As they would say on the show, "soulmates".

Finally, I love the sometimes raw and risque, in-depth analysis of relationships via their lively, witty conversations and love portrayal are as if taken straight out of women's private talks with each other. You hear yourself doing a lot of "Oh my God, that's so me.--- I've thought that. --- I've said that. --- I've done that". Not that the show hasn't had it's moments with the whole homo-eroticism thing, and has opened doors for other T.V programs to do the same, but the point is relationships are relationships, be it straight, gay, bi, tri- (anything once) sexual, whatever. Some may find themselves relating to a particular character more than another. It certainly makes a SATC party run smoother when people stick to their roles, but in the end, us Sex And The City fans find a little bit of all four of them in each of us.

In case you were wondering:

Character I most relate to: Samantha

My favorite: Charlotte (YUMMMM)



For a great, "Pop Culture Analysis", entertaining, feminist's view on Sex And The City, check out my friend Holly's blog:



Another great feminist blog is another friend of mine Lisa's "Ranting for a Revolution", which also features a link to Lesbiatopia.

The link to the blog can be found at the end of this article's comment's section.

IMOOOOO said...

this is awesome

Luna Frad said...