The world may never know. In the meantime, I've compiled a list of what I believe to be her Top 5 Best Job Prospects
Rosie O'Donnell as the host of 'The Price is Right'
I still am putting in my vote for this one, even though they picked Drew Carey several months ago. Just the thought of hearing Rosie's booming lesbian voice sing out 'Come on Down' and then listening to her wax poetic about the price of a can of Campbell's soup sounds a lot better than the fat man in the dark-rimmed glasses. But hey, that's just me.
Rosie O'Donnell as Anchor of the CBS Evening News
Katie Couric is sinking like the Titanic ever since she took over for Dan Rather as the CBS Evening News Anchor. Ratings have plummeted and, let's face it: Katie is too nice and too perky for the role. If CBS really wants to win back the news, they should hire Rosie who will tell America the real deal every night just like she did on 'The View.'
Rosie O'Donnell as the next 'American Idol' Judge
Unlike Randy Jackson, Rosie can actually form an opinion (OK, lots of them). Does Randy ever offer anything constructive other than "Dawg, that was just alright for me" or "We have a hot one, baby!"? No. He needs to go. Rosie will give Simon a run for his money in the brutal honesty department and we will have a great season seeing who will emerge as the alpha-dog and have Paula Abdul hanging all over them. My money's on Rosie.
Rosie O'Donnell as Jack Bauer on '24'
Want to see how to really fight terrorism? Hire a lesbian. If you've ever seen a fight in a lesbian bar, you know what I mean. Plus, with Rosie as Kiefer Sutherland's replacement, the show could actually change it's name to "12" instead of '24' since a woman can get the job done in half the time. Hey, Jack, put that in your pipe bomb and smoke it!
Rosie O'Donnell as Donald Trump on 'The Apprentice'
Picture this: Rosie walks onto the set of 'The Apprentice', sits down at Donald Trump's desk, points to him and yells "TRUMP! YOU'RE FIRED!" If that doesn't cause a stir, I don't know what will. Rosie, with Trump-style hairpiece and all, gets to call the shots. In the end, I picture a team of Bette Porter, Type-A power lesbians sitting around the conference table complaining about how their Manolo Blahniks aren't supportive enough. It's 'The L Word' meets the boardroom. Hot! Of course Rosie will still be wearing her Dr. Scholl's.