Oh, if only I had a minute in heaven with Mariska Hargitay for every time I've heard that in my life.
I usually respond with something really witty and clever, like:
"Welp, that's because I save my flannel shirts, mullet wig and wallet chain for Sundays only. If you saw me on Sunday, you'd totally know I was gay."
That normally helps make my point.
It's true, at first glance I fly under the gay radar (unless, of course, you see me on a Sunday).
And that's all right by me. I'm actually glad my sexuality isn't the first thing that someone recognizes - or judges.
I'm not ashamed of it by any means. I don't hide it personally or professionally.
I just don't define myself entirely by it.
I'm gay...but I'm also a woman, a writer, an ice cream fiend, a dawg lover, a car driver and I even grocery shop and hold down a job.
I'm just me. It just so happens I like women and I feel most comfortable dressing up a little girly-like and wearing makeup.
Except on Sundays.
I'm in no way suggesting that my butch friends (who I adore), are trying to define themselves by their sexuality.
They're doing exactly what I'm doing. Being themselves. Wearing what they feel comfortable in...and loving women.
Truthfully, my butch friends would rather cut off their left tit than put on a single item of clothing I own.
Regardless of what I wear, or they wear - we're all gay. Very gay.
To that end, I believe that when we, as individuals, get comfortable with our sexuality, we share the responsibility of educating the masses that there are many, MANY faces to this thing called GAY.
I no longer get embarrassed because someone assumes I have a boyfriend.
I gently let them know I have a wonderful girlfriend.
I allow them time to process it.
I answer their questions.
I've never had a bad response.
I have changed a few people's perceptions.
The best piece of advice I've ever heard on this subject came from the mother of a gay son.
She said, "I finally realized that I had to stop putting the gay stereotype on my son. Instead, I needed to put my son's face on the stereotype."
Thank you Susan Stankas.
A beautiful mantra to define a beautiful love.
No matter what yer wearin'....
Roses are red, violets are blue, please leave your comment, after your reading is thru.