Weddings, Dyke Style

Well, as I know you've heard by now the Queen Mother of lesbians, Ellen DeGeneres, and her girlfriend Portia de Rossi got hitched this weekend.

So what do lesbians wear to get married anyway? Well, honestly I think we're lucky. Gay men generally seem to wear suits or tuxes, while straight people are stuck in their gender roles. We, on the other hand, have the entire spectrum of formal wear to choose from. So let's start with Ellen and Portia.

I'm honestly not sold on Ellen's outfit. She usually has an awesome sense of style - I'm fairly convinced she brought the casual blazer style into lesbiandom singlehandedly. This outfit though ... Well, the shirt is kind of nice - what I can see of it anyway. And the pants are inoffensive enough. But the vest? It makes me think she's reverted to her old 80s self. I could definitely see that outfit working with a silk suit vest or something along those lines, but seems to be some sort of odd halter-vest-thing. Anyway, I'm not impressed.

Portia, on the other hand, looks lovely as always. She wore a dress by Zac Posen. Lots of poof and lots of skin in all the right places for a classy summer wedding gown. The two exchanged hand-written vows and rings designed by Neil Lane.

So what about the rest of us who don't have money for designer fashions and who in all likelihood will not get pictures of our weddings leaked to the press? Well, here's what's in with lesbian weddings.

There has been a trend, especially since marriage became legal, to go the classic route with the tux and gown. I'm a huge fan of tuxes, and this is a great idea for lesbians who have always dreamed of getting married with all the bells and whistles and maybe dreamed of being the one wearing the cuff links too.

It can get a little more complicated with two women in big poofy wedding dresses. Mostly you need to make sure that the combination of the two won't prevent you from leaning over to kiss the bride.

On the other hand, there seem to be a significant number of lesbians having less traditional weddings - whether that means showing up at the San Francisco court house to get the document or a big party on the beach.

One thing I've seen a lot of - and we do see this in the DeGeneres-de Rossi wedding - is one or both women in a white or tan suit. I like this look. It's not the traditional tux, so it's good for women who are worried about projecting an "I'm the man in the relationship" image, and at the same time it's a nice compromise for those of us who would rather kiss a man than wear a dress.

There are also a lot of lovely embroidered button-down shirts and a lot of colorful gowns and dresses. The best advice I've heard, really, is take whatever you're most comfortable wearing - and wear a nicer version! There are obviously a lot of choices for dresses that I can't even begin to contemplate. Dresses are like a whole different world to me. Then there are blazers and tux jackets and silk shirts and slacks. The possibilities for us lesbians really are endless.

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Tina-cious.com said...

OMG how much do I love this entry.

It's AWESOME. Nice job!

Renee "Lesberita" Gannon said...

I definitely want a beach wedding, something casual that combines a harmony of nature and the beauty of the ocean. Now here's my dilemma... do I wear a dress or a pantsuit of sorts? I'm stuck somewhere between femme and butch... a femmeboi of sports, very much a tomboy/sporty femme. Any suggestions on a cute outfit that would really represent my true self?

Paula the Surf Mom said...

I live on the beach and it is my dream one day to have a big ol gay wedding out in front of my house with about 250 guests

Anonymous said...

these pics are absolutely GORGEOUS!!!! :D

Brigid Shaw said...

Thanks to flickr for the photos. I can only claim credit for a couple of hours of looking at pictures of attractive women getting married :)

Queers United said...

ellen is def the butch

Anonymous said...

ellen's the butch??? No way!!! I couldn't tell......

Anonymous said...

God will one day judge all