The Word on the L Word Season 6

- Kelly Lynch


Jenny Shecter is dead, well, that is what they’re making us believe. The L Word begins its last season with what seems to be murder mystery, how delicious. This could prove to be the best season yet because a little mystery gets every girl excited.

Before we get into the re-cap there are a few things to discuss or thoughts to be shared. If Jenny is dead then the question IS who, if anyone killed Jenny Shecter? Jenny might have just slipped, hit her head on the side of the pool and drowned, but what kind of fun would that be. AND Lucy Lawless just doesn’t come out of the wood work for a case of accidental death (because she is Xena Warrior Princess and totally fucking awesome). So, it MIGHT be safe to say that she is dead. If she is dead then who killed her and why?


Here are a few thoughts:

As we all know, over the last few seasons Jenny has been making more enemies than friends, even her “friends” are her enemies. Yes, Miss Shecter has a Jedi like skill for pissing people off, therefore the possibilities of a potential killer are endless.

Scenario 1

One could propose that Jenny got a visit from someone long ago. Would it be so weird if Tim came back? Maybe he heard about Jenny’s Dyke-sized success and decided that she wasn’t going to make money by exploiting his pain and suffering, So he goes a little bonkers, travels back to LA , snuffs her out...and I don’t know, frames someone else. Is that really such a stretch? It is the L Word ya’ know. But then again, Tim has a full time gig on Ugly Betty and maybe couldn’t make time for a guest star appearance. So he might be out, but there are others like, Marina and the vagina wig Stacy Merkin, it would be safe to say that they both might have motives to 86 the Shecter.

Scenario 2

Well, maybe it isn’t a blast from the past. What if Jenny really isn’t dead at all? What if we’re just watching a story that she concocted in her head? She is a bit self loathing and narcissistic, it wouldn’t be beyond her character to write a story about her own death or murder. Sarah Schuster died, right. We might see Jenny sitting behind her laptop typing away at the end of the last episode as the words “The End” pop across the screen. That would be interesting. Actually, it would be cool if the whole series was a figment of her imagination. Kind of like what happened in the last episode of Roseanne. Hmmmm.

Scenario 3

Maybe Jenny really is dead and she slipped, hit her head and fell in the pool, but one of the main characters gets wrongly accused of her murder and end up in the slammer. If that happens, a lot of us are going to have to go to therapy for L Word closure. Please don’t let that happen.

Scenario 4

But most likely the unthinkable has happened and one of our West Hollywood beauties has really slain Jenny. Right now I can’t see why any of them would actually want to kill Jenny, maybe slap her around a little, but not kill.

In any event we are going to have to witness some serious shit unfold over these next seven episodes for a murder to be plausible.

And if its anything like this first episode we are really going to have to dig deep and bear down.

Now for the recap

After we discover Jenny is dead, we get transported back in time to three months prior to Jenny’s death.

We begin with a glimpse of last season’s final episode, where Jenny catches Shane performing a little oral on Nikki and Tina gets all bent out of shape because they want to change the ending of Lez Girls. The following events are what seems to be the next 8-12 hours in the life of lesbians, dun dun dun…

Jenny

Jenny is seriously hurt that her best bud Shane would have the audacity to try and fuck her girlfriend. When Shane and Nikki try to explain/apologize she kicks both of them out of her house. Shane spends the rest of the night feeling bad and trying to find a place to crash. You might have thought to yourself, why didn’t Shane just get a hotel? Well, she couldn’t because there had to be a way for Shane to end up at Kit’s house so she could be delivered the words of wisdom that will hopefully resolve the conflict between her and Jenny, which where, “fight for her”.

While Shane is up to her ears elbows in disapproving looks from friends, Jenny begins her revenge. First, Molly stops by the house to tell Shane that she loves her, but Jenny drives her away by half making up some shit about Nikki and Shane hooking up at the Pink Ride. Molly is hurt and leaves a jacket and letter for Shane which Jenny reads and then hides in her attic. Then, she calls Nikki over, fucks her, and then tells her she a “….”

Those two incidents alone could warrant a motive to kill.

Tibette

Bette and Tina seem to be really doing well. Despite a stressful night of work related let downs, their daughters trip to the ER (wasn’t the sound of that kid wheezing just a little freaky?) and Tina’s disgust at Bette’s obvious leniency on Shane’s incapacity to be faithful, even to her friends, they seem to be going strong. Things are going so well that Bette makes a promise to Tina that she will never cheat on her again. Isn’t that just wonderful!

I hope it doesn’t come back and bite Bette in the ass… or her vagina.

Thinking is cheating

Speaking of cheating, I guess Alice was supposed to break up with Tasha because she met some lady last season that she could talk to. So, they got into a fight because they have nothing in common, then Tasha storms out and Alice follows her to Papi’s house ( I know, where the hell did she come from!) who just happens to be fucking Alice’s ex- Gabby. Gabby insults Alice, Tasha sticks up for her; they have a beer, go home and laugh.

You know what they have in common… being stupid.

Helena + Kit = Hit

Partners in crime Helena and Kit chill at their new club where Helena is the part-time bouncer (meow… I love chicks that are femme on the outside and butch on the inside- it’s super hot) and Kit renames the club, The Hit Club by putting their names together. I think they should have named it Helkat (yes, there is no “A” in Kit but, whatever, it’s a really cool name).

Max

He IM’d Alice on the computer while she was fighting with Tasha.

This is just the beginning. It seems that the ladies in West Hollywood have put the kindling in the fire and we just get to sit back and watch it all heat up. I know you can’t wait.

Till next week.

Homoscopes: Get Your Astrological Gay On

Check Out your weekly gay friendly Horoscopes right here!
- Written exclusively for Lesbiatopia by Kelly Lynch

Scorpio
October 23 - November 21
This week you’re feeling the crush of the financial crisis and not sure if you have the funds to buy your costume as the other half of an Ellen and Portia on their wedding day. You’re going to have to tap into Scorpios creativity and ingenuity to find something a little more understated to represent the “sisterhood”. Why not just grab those practical pants and sneakers you have in your closet and a couple of blond wigs, it might not be exactly what you had in mind, but it will do the trick.

Famous Scorpio’s that you wish were gay
Scarlett Johanson, November 22nd 1984
Check out her hot make-out scenes with Penelope Cruz in Woody Allen’s Vicky Christina Barcelona.


Sagittarius
November 22-December 21
This week it seems like all your dreams are clogged up in a celestial drain. Your advice this week, call Joe the plumber.

Famous Sag’s you wish were gay
Tina Turner, November 26th 1938
Yeah, she might be turning 70, but in a sick and twisted way you’d still like to have those legs wrapped around your neck.

Capricorn
December 22nd- Jan 19th
Hey Ram! There is a life outside of work! How about taking some time to smell the roses or even that new scented oil your girlfriend bought to get your mind off the job and onto, well, her. I know you’re worried about potential “down-sizing” but what’s the point of having a job if you can’t enjoy the suc-sex with your lady.

Famous Capricorn’s that you wish were gay
Pat Benetar, January 10th 1953.
You know you want to wear that head band!

Aquarius
January 20-February 18
Thing in your love life aren’t going as smoothly as usual and you just can’t understand what your doing wrong. Instead of busting out your “Emo” collection, sitting on the floor in the dark and gathering your tears in a jar, get out of your head for a minute. A good way of helping yourself is helping others with their problems. Talking to a friend about her failing “hetero marriage” might give you some insight about what you might be doing wrong in a relationship.

Famous Aquarius’s that you wish were gay
Jennifer Aniston, February 11th 1969.
Things haven’t been working out in the man department for some time now, I think its time for her to cross over to the dark (but compassionate) side and give the ladies a chance.

Pisces
February 19-March 20
This week your still not decided who you want to vote for. None of these guys feel right to you and you want to make the right decision for both your pocket and your rights. The stars are saying; “It doesn’t really matter” they all suck! It might be about that time to log onto to Hook-a-canuck.com and stake a claim in Canada.

Famous Pisces that you wish you knew were definitely gay
Queen Latifa, March 18th 1970.
Her business is her business, but it would be awesome if she just became part of the gang. It never hurts to have more street cred.

Aries
March 21-April 19
This week can get off to a rocky start, Monday, you stub your toe out of bed, Tuesday you miss the bus and then the boss is on your ass, by Wednesday you wish you were Tom Hanks in Castaway. Maybe you need to hide out for a few days but don’t cut off the world completely, by Thursday the stars will be shining in your favor and you’ll laugh at yourself for cursing the heavens

Famous Aries that you wish were gay
Claire Danes, April 12, 1979
You know you still have fantasies about Angela chase!


Taurus
April 20-May 20
This week, every little thing you do is magic. And that’s awesome! Keep it going by sharing all your positive energy with others and by next week you could power a whole city with all those good feelings. How’s that for going green!

Famous Bulls that you wish were gay
Uma Thurman, April 29th 1970
She’s gorgeous, smart and super talented why wouldn’t you wish she were gay. To add a little fuel to the fantasy check out Henry and June.


Gemini
May 21-June 21
You’re busy this week with family obligations, getting that new business started and your just every way miss popular. Someone in your life might be feeling a little neglected and their acting out in a really childish and selfish way. Before you let Hyde out of his cage take a moment and think about why this particular person might be acting out in this particular way. Don’t take anything personal! You know everyone wants to be around the Gemini and be part of whatever you’re doing. It’s not your fault there is a lot going on… just be sensitive and reassuring to loved ones.

Famous Gemini’s that you wish were still a little gay
Angelina Joli, June 4, 1975
Enough said

Cancer
June 22-July 22
Your calendar is booked up until February with things to do and in some cases you’re double booked. It’s okay to say no to things sometimes. I know your sister-in law really wants you to come to her candle party but honestly how are you going to fit that in between your Saturday lecture on whales at The Learning Annex and your best friend’s first acoustic set at the new bookstore downtown. You can’t be everywhere and you don’t have to be. Just say NO! (but in a really nice way).

Famous Cancer’s that you wish were gay and still around
Princess Diana, July1st 1961
What wouldn’t you give for one good romp in the palace?


Leo
July 23-August 22
You hate your job and your miserable but because of the current world wide financial crisis you afraid to quit and fulfill your dream as a naked ventriloquists. The stars say it’s your time to shine Leo so don’t let any current trends stop you from doing what makes you happy. We only live once! Go with your gut and use that noggin of yours to find the perfect way to sell your act. Remember, nothing is a bad idea.

Famous Leo’s you wish were gay
Cameron Diaz, August 30, 1972
What lady wouldn't want a little Cameron of her own.

Virgo
August 23-September 22
So what if she forgot to hang up her clothes this morning or left the living room a mess from her Sunday afternoon poker game. She’ll clean it up when she gets home. Don’t let something small put you in one of your “moods”. It won’t make anything better, if anything, it will only make things worse. If it bothers you that much just take care of whatever it is yourself and talk it out later… like hours later.

Famous Virgo’s that are awesome and probably gay, but your not sure but you think so:
Joan Jett, September 22nd 1960.
She’s just bad-ass and looks good in leather.

Libra
September 23-October 22
This week you have the insight and creative genius of Michelangelo flowing through your veins. Take advantage of it! You don’t necessarily have to paint the Sistine Chapel on your living room ceiling; buying a few body paints and having a little alone time with your favorite lady can also constitute as a work of art ( be sure to take photos).

Famous Libra’s that you wish were gay
Kate Winslet, March 18 1970
Hideous Kinky anyone?

Lesbiatopia Goes to the Movies at the annual Tribeca Film festival in New York City

What’s better than hanging out in New York City on a (partially) beautiful weekend and wearing around your neck pass that enables you to see any movie that you could want? If you said, “Nothing.”, then we’re on the same page. This past weekend I had the honor and delight to experience what IS the annual Tribeca Film Festival. This years festival, which runs until May 4th, is not only packed with your favorite celebrities walking up and down red carpets but encompasses all the rich, diverse and beautiful culture of New York City and of course the whole point, over 500 films to be seen.



If you’re a film junkie like me you can probably understand how hard it was for me to pick what movies to see and which movies to scratch. It was a very painful process. I’d have to compare it to when I go out to dinner with friends and I’ve waited hours to eat, as to not spoil my appetite, and by the time I get to the restaurant I’m so hungry the gum underneath the table looks like a suitable appetizer.

When I’m that crazy for nutrition I want everything on the menu, but logically (and financially) I can’t have everything. I stare at the menu as the smell of all the glorious food fill my nostrils, my stomach growls and I begin to feel faint. By that point I just want to close my eyes, point and pick whatever my finger lands on. But my brain always interjects and says, “Hold on a minute hungry Helga, I know your starvin’ but you can’t make any hasty decisions. You don’t want to try anything too risky because if it turns out you don’t like it you just wasted 20 bucks on a squid steak and its most likely going to end up on the sidewalk outside; and then again you don’t want to play it safe either because if you were just going to get a grilled cheese then you could have stayed home”.

So, I end up studying the menu and narrowing down my choices and then based on certain criteria, (like if someone else at the table is going to order something on my list I scratch it off because why order it when you can have a bite of theirs), I can make a pretty good choice.

Figuring out the movies I wanted to see for the festival was just like that. I had only a limited amount of time and hundreds of movies to pick from. I had to make calculated decisions and hope to god I didn’t waste 2 hours of my life watching a French documentary about the life and times of a poodle’s scrotum. I am happy to say that I think that I made the best choices. Today I am going to write about one film I saw and over the next couple of days I’ll add more and more to the list. Hopefully after reading this you’ll inquire about the film(s) and take a gander sometime.

Film One



The Universe of Keith Haring
Spotlight
Directed by Christina Clausen

When I found out that there was a documentary about the life and works of Keith Haring I said to myself “Kel, there is no fucking way your missing this movie.” (and I would never lie to myself). I knew I only had one shot to see this movie so Friday night I began my mad dash from Jersey into the city. After a long day at the office I ran out of work, went to my car, got my luggage, ran to the train station, hopped on the train, took a brief nap, got of the train, dragged my luggage 9 blocks to west 23rd street, to dropped it off with a friend, hauled ass over to East 12th and 2nd ran inside the movie theater and then finally with moments to spare watched a beautiful film.

When I was a kid and I would venture into the city and see all these drawings and painting covering buildings, subways, sidewalks and the like. New York City was a breeding ground for graffiti artists. Some people thought of it as vandalism but like any little kid I thought it was just pretty cool.

There was one artist in particular whose work strewn all over the city. They were these simple abstract images of people, dogs, babies or groups of people often paired with vibrant colors. I remember seeing people wearing t-shirts with these images on them and at the time I thought they were just fun… and they were… but later I would learn that they were more than that. I was a little too young to realize what I was experiencing but I knew that something had caught my eye.

As I got a bit older I found out that all those fun and vibrant pieces were the works of gay New York pop artist Keith Haring. I was a big fan and was very much drawn to his work and as I learned more about him I understood or saw the more sophisticated messages that he was expressing but by that time he had gotten sick and died of AIDS.

This documentary brought back to life and showed and honest portrayal of an artist that inspired the world with his imagination, heart, creativity and hope. I got to experience Haring in a way that I could have never dreamed. This film transcends most films I’ve seen about other artists because it’s not just an interpretation of the artist, it is the artist. It shows him from his early beginnings in small town PA to his world wide success and then sadly to his untimely death. The film focuses on how his work grew from home grown art shows to grand masterpieces that inspired the world. It includes pieces of footage of Haring himself, his family and his friends and not to mention the numerous amounts of his work that still exist and draw in people today.

This was not only a brilliant film but an experience. I recommend anyone who has a vocation to take a look at this film because it encompasses the important message that if you have real passion and believe in yourself that you can accomplish anything and inspire others. Keith Haring did and he still does.

To find out more information about this film and scheduled screenings please go to
www.tribecafilmfestival.org

The 15th Annual GLBT Expo

I don’t know if you were there but I was! Last week my gay back pack and I ventured to the 15th annual GLBT expo held in NYC. Maybe it wasn’t as exciting as all the pool parties going on at Dinah but it was definitely a place to go to and find out about all sorts of gay run or friendly businesses, publications, entertainers and more.

There were so many booths and so much information to gather I don’t know where to begin. Right now I’m swimming amongst brochures, flyers and magazines trying to decide what I should tell you all about (as well as getting a few paper cuts). So I’ve decided to pick my favorites and hopefully you’ll stop by the sites, events and/or organizations that fit your fancy.



The Glamazons-

I don’t know about the rest of you ladies but I defiantly like a woman with curves and confidence and that’s exactly what these girls have. If you haven’t heard of them check out their website.



www.glamazongirls.com

Out In New Jersey-

I was super excited to find out that there was a gay Jersey publication out there. So if you’re from the area (and even if your not… you might visit) check it out to see if anything interesting is happening by your exit.



www.outinjersey.net

Our Youth-

Our Youth is a not for profit organization designed to help young people of all sexual preferences in the tri-state area by spreading knowledge through workshops, motivational speeches and hosting weekly support groups. I met these guys and found them inspiring and genuinely passionate about their mission. If you need a little support or you would like to give some; show these guys some love and contact them.



ouryouth2006@yahoo.com
(201) 920-0253

Dykes in the City-

DITC is a clothing line marketed and created for lesbians, by lesbians.
The chick working the booth was so sweet… I had to take a picture



www.ditc.net

a.milane-

a.milane *TEES FOR THE HOT MUTHA PLEATHER IN YOU!* be one of a kind & attract the attention you were born to get!!
These LIMITED EDITION tees give you the power to express yourself with out saying a word!



www.amilane.com
Tshirts

Feast Of Fools.Net-

Feast of fools is a fresh and funny daily Chicago born podcast /talk show with quirky news and interviews featuring Fausto Fernos, Marc Felion, Amanda Steinstein, Tracy Tyler and Sal-E. Feast Of Fools was voted the Best GLBT podcast for 2006 &2007.
I had the pleasure of chatting it up with Marc Felion who was super cool and adorable so I say subscribe and laugh.



Marc Felion
feastoffools.net

Dignity New York-

If any of you feel the need to find Jesus or something check out dignity NY. They believe it is possible to be a Catholic and lesbian, gay, bisexual and/or transgender. Wow! Really!



(she’s an ex-nun.. but she’s not gay… I made that mistake)

www.dignityny.org.


The gay back pack and I really enjoyed strolling around the Expo and would like to thank all the people who took time out to talk with us about their businesses, publications and organizations. It was really a pleasure to see all the happy gay faces out and about and hope to see some of you again in the future. I know from all the information I gathered my gay calendar is filled to the brim.

For your enjoyment or boredom here are some random shots of us and all the people we harassed while at the expo!

Keep spreading the good gay word- Beebo



Me after the expo

The gay and I saw this and thought why the hell not!
By the way I saw The Beebo Brinker Chronicles a few weeks ago and I thought it was really good. If you are a NYC Gal I definitely suggest taking a walk over and checking it out. It’s only around for a limited time so get your tickets!
37 Arts theater NYC
http://www.beebobrinker.com/



MY GAY BACK PACK

Lesbian Homo-Scopes By Miss Clit-O for April 2008

It’s that time of the month ladies!Miss Clit-O Lesbiatopia’s very own pseudo astrologer is back to give you the guidance you need to make this the best lesbian month ever!



Aries (March 21-April 19)
It’s your time of the year baby girl! There is a new growth seeking to emerge this month Aries and I’m not talking abut that cyst on your gluteus, rather the inflammation of positive energy emerging from your heart. Embrace all that is… because before you know it… it will be gone.

Taurus (April 20-May 20)
You’re determined to find practical productivity in this world; but the world is anything but practical. I suggest disposing to action as opposed to speculation or abstraction. In laymen’s terms; if the mud slinging going on between the Democratic candidates is giving you heart burn…do something about it. Please…please do something about it.

Gemini (May 21-June 20)
Love is in the air this time around Gemini. But in order for it to happen you’re going to have to take time out from those deep conversations with yourself and strike up a conversation with an actual person. That shy girl who works in the homeopathic section of health and beauty aids at Whole Foods might be the perfect candidate.

Cancer (June 21-July 22)
There is a lot of pain in this world and you can help. Your capacity to heal others is at its height this month. Make a point to talk to that lonely dyke at the bar; she’s hurting really bad and you might just have the right words to get her off the bar stool. And while you’re helping her you might just be helping yourself (that bar gets pretty crowded and you’d like a seat wouldn’t ya’)

Leo (July 23- Aug. 22)
Stop looking in the mirror and complaining about your insecurities! Its so boring and a total turn off… and you’re better than that. You can either do something about them or accept them. Bottom line, Own your shit!

Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22)
Wow! How you doing Virgo? A lot has changed in the last couple of weeks and your wondering how in the hell your going to deal. Even the cosmos doesn’t know how everything is going to turn out. It all has to do with how you cope with adversity.

Libra (Sept. 23- Oct. 22)
Stop giving mixed signals! You’re like watching an episode of Tila Tequila. Libra’s are supposed to be all about balance, harmony, and love and you’re never going to achieve the of beauty of self-completion if you keep on playing games.

Scorpio (Oct. 23- Nov. 21)
Hey busy beaver. You’ve been all over the place lately and would give your left mammary gland for a clone. I would love to say that things are going to calm down but it’s not in the stars right now. All this hard work will pay off! You just need something to keep the momentum going. Try drinking a dozen egg yolks and going for a run. I guarantee that when you look behind you you’ll discover you have a sea of people that believe in you; and that’s just what you need. It’s the eye of the tiger baby!

Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 21)
Hey Goonie, how’s the quest to find One-Eyed Willies secret stash. The reward at the end is sweet but remember it’s not about the treasure itself; it’s about the journey that leads to self discovery… and of course saving the Goon Docks.

Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19)
Its one thing to be self disciplined but it’s another to strap on a metal cilice and flog yourself when you fall off the wagon. I know you want to look good for all the pool parties this summer but its okay to eat a carb once in a while. Live a little and have a piece of cake if you want; just don’t eat the whole cake…know what I mean.

Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb 18)
Sometimes it’s hard being you, but you have to stop comparing yourself to those who lack individuality and a sense of self. Where others will follow the standard recipe you find yourself throwing it out the window and creating something that nobody ever dreamed. Not everyone is going to want to eat Robutussen flavored brownies but then again you might meet a lady that suffers from chronic flew like symptoms that loves chocolate. The brownies and YOU might just be the thing she’s been looking for.

Pisces (Feb. 19-March 20)
Last month was just magical. You were flying high on Falkore making your way through Fantasia. How lucky were you to remove yourself from the mundane and transcend to that mystical place you thought only existed in your dreams. But this month reality shows its ugly face and you find yourself at a standstill. The childlike empress is ill and you have to find the human child and defeat the Nothing in order to save her! Don’t give up! All she needs is a name.

THE 15th ORIGINAL GLBT EXPO in NYC

Hey Ladies! If you happened to be a New York City gal and decided not to go to Dinah Shore next weekend you might want to stop by the 15th Original GLBT Expo at the Javits Convention Center. It’s the exciting world where business and entertainment come together to bring you everything GLBT friendly.



“For the past 15 years, the EXPO has helped to present the finest products & services available to the GLBT consumer. Starting in 1993, the EXPO has generated over $35,000,000 of dollars spent within the Greater Tri-State area. This includes GLBT friendly companies from every industry, both large and small, Fortune 1000 and Gay-owned companies. They have all discovered the GLBT Community is affluent, brand-loyal, well educated and business minded. It is the truest definition of "THE PERFECT NICHE MARKET".”

There will be 400 exhibits, samplings, giveaways, and seminars. Joining the expo family this year id the International Gay Franchise Expo with opportunities that can change your future and for those who are looking to tie the gay knot they'll have the nations largest Gay Wedding Event.

And for those of us who are environmentally conscious The GLBT Expo is going Green with a pavilion of earth friendly companies.

The two day event isn’t all business! There is going to be tons of GLBT entertainment. I’m not too sure of the line up but if its anything like last years it shouldn’t be anything less than superb. Maybe if you stick around long enough you might get the chance to see one of your favorite GLBT performers.

If you have a few hours to kill, you want to start planning your gay wedding extravaganza, or want to go to a great place to network and meet people then stop on by and check The Original GLBT Expo.

Saturday, April 5, 2008 11 am- 7 pm
Sunday, April 6, 2008 12 pm- 6 pm

Jacob K. Javits Convention Center
38th & 11th Aves | New York City
For directions call 212-216-2000

For more information go to: www.originalglbtexpo.com

I know I’ll be there checking out the scene, snapping photos and chatting it up with some of our gay brothers and sisters. Don’t worry if you can’t go I’ll give you the low-down.

If you don’t go the only one you’re hurting is yourself!

The L Word Episode 512

To wrap my head around the season finale of the L Word I had to remove myself from the comfort of my home and wander over to a local watering hole and have a few beers. I don’t normally write under the influence of alcohol but I needed some sort of self medication to make writing about this episode as painless as possible.



This last episode had its share of… what I would call…cheesy dyke bullshit… but it also had some very important lesbian life lessons that needed to be shared… and with every pint of miller light I slug down my throat I am determined to figure out what they are.

The Old Couple.

Let’s start with Tina and Bette or what some witty ladies out there call Ti-bette (it’s genius… really). After years of fighting, lying, cheating and baby stealing they have found their way back into each others arms. Things couldn’t be better. The only thing raining on their dyke parade is that freaky art piece that Jodi constructed out of sound bites and video footage that she compiled while she was dating Bette.

Maybe it’s just me but, I have to wonder how the writers of the show thought that it would make sense to have a deaf sculptor put together an audio visual display as the revenge laden art piece. There were so many other alternatives that could have been used; perhaps an actual sculpture, a painting, a collage, or anything else.

Jodi is deaf… and there’s audio… I just don’t get it… and when the hell did she film Bette or tape any of the audio anyway?

I know that as viewers we are supposed to think outside the box sometimes, but that shit was just ridiculous and it was super creepy.

In any event after the art opening Bette runs home to Tina to cry. Tina comforts her and suggests she just let it all go. I think that was pretty solid advice. Just let it go. Lesson learned Tina… lesson learned

Alice looks somewhere else

Alice finds herself falling for the cute fashion designer she met on The Look and admits that her relationship with Tasha might be in trouble.

Lesson here: Don’t date girls like Alice

Helena saves the day (and I don’t mean just for the girls on the show)

The only thing that I think was slightly cool about this episode was that Helena came back. But I had problem with the fact she returned home because her mother was stung by a rare jelly fish, which makes me think the writers and executive producers of this hit series might be smoking crack (this something ll have talk about at my next lesbian pow wow). Anyway, while visiting mummy on her pseudo death bead, Helena tells her mother of the terrible things Dawn Denbo has done and mummy Peggy then explains to Helena that she is now in charge of the Peabody fortune and can do with the money as sees fit, so Helena ends up buying the Planet, She Bar and Lover Cindy. How wonderfully far fetched.

Lesson: Get some rich friends and stay away from deadly jellyfish.

Drama Rama

It seemed to me that Shane and Molly might have been a couple that could have made it but as it turns out Shane is as easily manipulated by others as her hair is with product. Instead of ignoring Phyllis and letting her relationship with Molly flutter or flail on its own Shane decided to end the relationship by hitting on a girl at SHE BAR. Originality at its best!!!!

I know the L Word is as distant from real life as you can possibly get but for Christmas sake! That was just fucking dumb. I think most of us would have spoken to our girlfriend about their mother accosting them by ugly sculptures.

And, If you remember the same thing happened when Shane’s dad confronted her before her wedding and somehow made her think she was incapable of commit because of her genetics.This is the same fucking thing!

They’ve done this so many times.Make her go to therapy or something!!!!! I agree that there should be some predictability with characters but it this case it’s not entertaining it’s frustrating .

(Time for another Miller Lite)

So, Shane breaks up with Molly and then goes on to attend the Lez Girls wrap up party where she meets up with Nikki.I guess they were both feeling a little down because they proceeded to fuck each other.These two getting together wasn’t a shocker but why do they have to do it on a railing outside… hide under a table or something.

While Shane and Nikki are, ya’ know, Jenny crashes the party and gives a lovely speech about her movie and professes her love for Nikki. Jenny goes to look for Nikki and finds them together. Jenny is upset and proclaims that what Shane did was the ultimate betrayal and blah blah blah blah blah, tears bullshit bull shit, blah blah blah, the rest of the cast. It’s over. Thank God

Lesson here: This is not real life because all lesbians would be locked up in padded rooms if it were.

END L WORD (but keep the beers coming)

The L Word Episode 510... and 509

Hey ladies! (And I think maybe a few gentlemen) Sorry for not delivering on last weeks recap. My excuse is that even writers at Lesbiatopia have lives. This week I’m going to try and get both episodes into one recap. The best way to go bout this is…wait… is there a best way to go about this? I’ll do my best.

Last week's episode consisted of rolling blackouts and extreme heat which constituted a lot of love making with this gaggle of gals. This week the girls are out of bed and on their bikes for the Pink Ride where they get to pay tribute to their old friend Miss Dana Fairbanks who was written off the show a few couple of seasons ago because the creative minds behind the program felt that it was the only way for the audience to really feel the impact of losing loved one to breast cancer (I’m sure it really compares).



The ladies are giving this ride their all but this good will pleasure cruise soon turns into a fucking nightmare. And why wouldn’t it? It is the L Word after all.
Jenny and Nikki

Last week Jenny flipped out because she found out that Nikki banged Greg (the guy who plays Jim…Tim?) after the premier party. Jenny realized she over reacted and wrote Nikki a love letter. Nikki was so moved by the letter she rushed to Jenny’s house to tell her that she forgives and loves her. As Nikki approaches Jenny with her speech and kisses her she realizes that the dark figure is that creep Adel and not Jenny.
Nikki writes it off the grotesque experience as a mistake and later finds Jenny on the set of Lez Girlz and they have awesome make up sex.

This week Nikki blows off her Rolling Stone cover shoot to take the Pink Ride with her favorite woman.Tina gets a little bent, but they’re having such a good time laughing , kissing, having sex with strap-on’s and video taping it that they really don’t care.
Everything is fun and games until Jenny’s creepy assistant sits outside their tent smoking a ciggarette and watching them have sex and then the bitch steals their video.What a creep!

Side note/Question: Did anyone else think that Nikki was kind of hitting on Shane?

Dawn Denbo and her Lover Cindy

Last week Dawn Denbo and her lover Cindy had a mafia-like sit down with the girls to negotiate territory and turf… I think…I kind of blocked it out because it was a little cheesy. There were a few funny moments. For example, when Jenny said that she thought Denbo was psychotic, I thought that was funny, but its all about the delivery in my book (and Mia Kirshner is just funny).
In the end they came to some sort of agreement which I’m sure will get fucked up somewhere along the way.

This week there was nothing going on with Dawn Denbo and her Lover Cindy.
I was surprised… I thought they would have followed the girls to Northern cali with team Lover Cindy or something.

The love triangle that Jodi didn’t know about

Last week, Bette and Tina go to therapy but get stuck in the elevator during a rolling blackout. They made the experience a productive one byworking out their issues, professing their love for each other and fucking.

This week, during a game of “I never” while the girls are camping Jodi finds out that Bette and Tina have been fucking behind her back. This didn’t go over to well with any of the parties involved.
I just think that if Bette and Tina really didn’t want Jodi to know they could have done a lot better at hiding it. Seriously, haven’t you ever lied during that game? Did Tina have to get up and run away? did bette have to make that face? the list goes on and on...

In any event, yes, it sucks for Jodi that Bette and Tina have been screwing around but it really was inevitable. Jodi is cool, but she and Bette never had a chance (and I said this from day one). They might have good sexual chemistry but it just doesn’t compare to the sick and demented relationship that Tina and Bette have… or want.

I wonder if they are even going to stay together after all this shit????


Shane and Molly

Last week, Molly invites Shane over to protect her from the blackouts but she had an alterieve motive.. she really just wanted to get Shane in bed. The only issue was that Molly was a lfirst timer and was nervous which made her say a lot of stupid things ( it as cute in a newbie way). After Shane performed the best oral that maolly has ever experienced it was her turn but she wasn't ready to go downtown.
No biggie Shane was more then happy to show her again but right in the middlen the middle of it her mother walks in.
Molly and Phyllis end up in an argument and Molly ends up saying some things about Shane that she didn't mean like: "She’s simple" and "Uneducated". Ouch!

This week, Shane is not talking to Molly because her feelings were hurt. Molly end up following her to the Pink Ride where forces Shane to listen to her. In a silly dramatic speech she proclaims that she really likes Shane and she will work really hard to learn advanced lesbian sex.
Shane falls for her goofy effort and then later that day Molly goes down on her. Go Molly!

Max Beyond Transgender-Dome
Last week, Max goes out on a date with Tom and they end up having sex.I was confused at first… and then not… and then I was again… and then I wasn’t.

This week, I saw them holding hands while walking through the woods. How cute… max has a boyfriend!!! Later Tom had to leave when Jodi found out about Bette and Tina. Nice way to ruin Max's weekend ladies!!!!


Tasha and Alice
Last week there wasn’t too much going on with Tasha and Alice. Tasha was just chillin out getting used to civilian life. I think the most exciting thing that happened was when Tasha sat on Alice's couch to experience what 6 pm felt like. It was riveting... and then Alice ate her out.
This week, Nothing remotely interesting was going on. Oh, tasha wants them to move in together. Wow! again riveting stuff.

I have a few thoughts about what is to come. I think all this cheating talk that happened this past episode has a deeper meaning. I feel that it isn't just supposed to apply to Bette and Tina.
I forsee this becoming an issue with a few of the couples in the group… For some reason I’m thinking Tasha and Alice.I don’t know why, I just feel it.

Only two more episodes left! How is Ilene going to finish the season?
I’ll make my predictions next time!
Till Then, have a wonderful week

Lesbian Homo-scopes By Miss Clit-0

Life has its ups and downs and without the right guidance you can find yourself in an unfurnished apartment sitting on an old pizza box scraping your arms with a box cutter. Luckily life doesn’t have to be so drab!

Miss Clit-O a world un-famous pseudo astrologer is here to help! She has combed the lesbian cosmos to bring you the encouraging words you need just to get by.



Pisces- Feb 19th- March 20th You’ve been searching the cosmos for the answers your soul desperately needs. Instead of following in the footsteps of the Dali Lama why not pick up a James Brown CD or Jam out to some Aretha Franklin. Those mother fuckers really know soul. On the good foot bitches!

Aries March 21st - April 20th You’ve been so stressed out lately that your temper has been getting the better of you…Its time for you to take a chill pill. So throw on your favorite flannel, get out your coupon book and spend a little quality time with the one that you dominate. Life is way too short to write nasty letters to the Cheese Cake Factory home office because your fries were a little too salty.

Taurus April 21st - May 21st Taurus you’re known to be a little inflexible at times. This month you should start a yoga class. Maybe by June you’ll be a little more limber and you and your partner can master that backwards cowboy you’ve been working on. Giddy up!

Gemini May 22nd- June 21st Hey girls! I know you’ve been feeling a little restless lately and you’ve been dying to do something different. Instead of going off to Bali for a retreat to add a little pizzazz to the mundane just treat yourself to a little something that you and your woman can enjoy. I heard ball-gags are all the new rage! If you happen to have a video camera and some leather chaps you might just have all the new excitement that you need.

Cancer June 22nd- July 22nd With all those late nights watching forensic files you’ve been feeling less than secure these days. Why not utilize that Home Depot gift card your parents got you for Christmas and install a home security system. You’ll feel a bit safer while you cozy up with your favorite butch for that two hour court TV special on serial killers.

Leo July 23rd- August 23rd Hey my little lionesses! I know you’ve been dreaming about the day you get accosted by Gary Busey on the red carpet, but its just not your time. To satisfy those pipe dreams you should get with a gaggle of your girl friends and have a karaoke night out. You’ll be the Belle of the dyke bar as you bust out “Come to my Window” to starving Melissa Ethridge fans.

Virgo August 24th- September 22nd Hey Virgo, you’ve been a little tight with the man wallet lately. It’s not the end of the world to splurge on something frivolous. Miss Clit-o knows you’ve been drooling over that poster of Jackie Warner in the Curves locker room. It’ll be worth it for you to make the purchase. Just make sure you get a nice glass or plastic cover for it (paper tends to dissolve when you lick it).

Libra September 23rd- October 23rd Last month was a hard one and you’re feeling all out of sorts. Just remember everything happens for a reason and eventually things will balance out. Instead staying home and watching Fried Green Tomatoes over and over again hit the local watering hole and strike up a conversation with the nearest Drag Queen. They always have the best anecdotes that help make light of heavy situations.

Scorpio October 24th- November 22nd You’ve been so busy lately that even your vibrator is feeling the repercussions. You need to take your head out of the job and get it into something…else. It’ll do you good to put on that sexy black dress (or your favorite turtle neck.. whatever floats your boat)and go out and get crazy. It’s a shame to let your sexual prowess go to waste… and the scene is a little boring without a mysterious Scorpio on the prowl. Sagittarius

November 23rd- December 21st I know that your really excited because your new Encyclopedia Britannica came with a virtual DVD of the Solar system, but you’re really boring your girlfriend. It’s time for you to get your nose out of the books and begin exploring her universe. I bet she knows a place where you can find a three dimensional model of Orion’s Belt.

Capricorn December 22nd- January 20th You are a superstar! Not in that Mary Kathryn Gallagher sort of way; your kind of like the Angelina of you local dyke community. All that hard work has really paid off and you’re finally getting the recognition that you deserve. Its great to be able to take time to bask in the sunlight of your success but don’t be blinded by it. Put on a pair of shades so you can see what’s going on around you. Aquarius

January 21st-February 18th Hey! Why have you been so cranky lately? Did someone steal your Jon Benet Ramsey murder case trading cards? Don’t fret so much. Whatever you lost let it be lost and if you’re meant to have it, you will. Anyway, you’ll find something else that tickles your eccentricities in due time.

The L Word episode 508

There is a lot of love in the air on the L Word. Jenny and Nikki are in love, Shane is falling like Gary Busey at an Oscar party for Molly, Bette still loves Tina and Jodi at the same time and of course Tasha still hearts Alice. Too bad all these girls just can’t be in love without all the bullshit that goes along with being a fictional character on Ilene Chaiken’s hit series the L Word. She really does bring dyke drama to a new level.



There’s Homophobia in Hollywood!! Still?
Things are tough on the set of Lez Girls this week after Nikki’s hot oil wrestling adventure at SHE BAR. Her agent gets very upset because Nikki has been plastered all over tabloids and they are insinuating that she’s a lesbian. This could be bad for the shitty block buster movie that’s about to premier and could potentially ruin her career while cutting some serious cash flow for all parties involved. In a, very badly acted, rage Nikki’s agent threatens to pull her from the movie but Tina saves the day by suggesting that Nikki take a “Hip , hot and hunky” guy too the premier.

Before I go any further I need to get something off my chest. I watch the L Word religiously and I’ve always had to stomach the bad writing, sometimes bad acting and often horrible storylines but I continue to watch it because I support my sisters and I got sucked in (Ilene Chaiken doesn’t write I think she’s a crack dealer). I’m not saying its bad all the time but sometimes it’s really bad. This is a topic I could write about for an hour. In any event, I just couldn’t stomach the scene with Tina and Nikki’s agent Kevin. Where the hell did they find this guy? It was so bad I almost shut my TV off and gave up the L Word all together… seriously how bad was that guy… it made me fucking sick… but I digress.

Where was I… Oh yeah. So Nikki ends up bringing Greg the guy who plays Jim on Lez Girls instead of Jenny to her premier party. Both of the girls are upset about it but they sell- out anyway and make plans to meet up at the premiere. Great! But when Jenny gets there she’s not allowed in. Adel ( looking hot as hell) tells Jenny that she is going to go inside and get Nikki but ends up schmoozing with Nikki’s agents and leaving Jenny outside for the entire movie (whore!).
After the premier Adel for some strange reason suggests that Nikki kiss Greg for the cameras. Jenny sees the lip lock from the sidelines and gets very upset. Adel comforts Jenny by saying that someone else must have suggested it for publicity reasons. Can you say, “Adel is lying bitch.”
As I see it, Adel is going to inch her way into jenny's life and then fuck with it here and there until her life is completely ruined. Adel is a virus and must be stopped. Max to the rescue perhaps?
I can’t wait for the truth to come out about Adel. I hope they make her like this super nutty freak. Please L Word! Shock me with something creative.

Straight Girl Syndrome
Shane has a major thing for Phyllis’s daughter Molly. Why wouldn’t she? She’s young, pretty, smart, rich, confused about the meaning of life and straight. She’s every lesbian’s dream, and if I was Shane I would want in there too. Some of the girls think it’s a bad idea for Shane to pursue this friendship with Molly, like Bette for instance, and she only thinks that way because she is lame as hell. Jodi on the other hand gets where Shane is coming from and throws a dinner party so the two can get cozy.
Molly and Shane have a deep conversation and then end up making out on Jodi’s roof top. Molly gets freaked out, which Shane predicted, and decides to go home.
It’s not over for these two, I see something beautiful happening here. I know the whole straight girl thing is taboo, but I like these two (and I can defiantly identify with the storyline) and I can’t wait till they do it next week!

Friends with your Ex to fucking your Ex, When should lesbians draw the line?
While Jodi was doing a nice thing for Shane in throwing a dinner party she was simultaneously creating the ultimate uncomfortable environment for her girlfriend. Bette did not like it that Jodi invited Tina and Jodi’s ex to the party. Bette doesn’t want to be friends with exes. Jodi thought Bette was being stupid but she doesn’t know the real reason Bette was really mad. She was really upset because Tine was bringing the DP from Les Girls and Bette wouldn’t have the opportunity to munch Tina’s box with all those people around.
They didn’t quite hook up at the dinner party but what they did do is decide to go see a therapist together to “figure out what they’re doing.” You don’t need therapist girls, you need a dental dam. All this fucking is going to give someone a VD.

A Love story
Remember that scene at the end of An Officer And A Gentleman where Richard Gere romantically whisks Debra Winger away from her hard knock life working in a nowhere town at a nowhere job. It was beautiful wasn’t it. I love that scene. It reminds me of two dykes I know.
They were a couple. One was a hot closeted butch soldier who looked like her face would crack if she smiled and the other was an out and proud girly girl journalist who is mean to her transgender friends. There different lives put a strain on their relationship but they kept it going strong until the Sergeant Butch began to be investigated for homosexual conduct by the military and the girly girl journalist made a career for herself by outing famous people. There different lives tore them apart and they broke up even though they still loved each other.
Then I remember there was this trial at an army base and the chick from Top Gun was the prosecuting dyke attorney giving the butch a hard time ( I wondered what happened to her). The girly girl journalist had to testify against her ex butch but instead got all sarcastic and insinuated that the Top Gun lawyer was a super dyke. The lawyer dyke got so freaked out that she promised to let Sergeant Butch off the hook.
Back in the courtroom the butch is under oath and has a moment of clarity. She realized that its not fair that she is fighting for a country whose government considers homosexuals second class citizens. In defiance she decides to proclaim her love for girly girl journalist and flips the bird to the military. She runs outside and whisks her love off her feet and makes out with her on a military base where some girl gives the thumbs up and everybody is watching them and smiling.
I love that story

Make a Lesbian Fashion StatementShop at the

Beebo and The Gay Guy talk about The Big Gay Sketch Show Season 2 premiere

THE BIG GAY SKETCH SHOW is back!

Yes sireee, Tuesday night was the premiere episode of LOGO’s comedy hit.

Aren’t you excited?

Well we were. So instead of giving you the traditional “impersonal” blah blah blah review of the shows premier that everyone else is doing, we thought we might take a stab at something a little different. Today my favorite gay and I will be talking candidly about the show, giving you our impressions of the season opener.

Now if you haven’t seen The Big Gay Sketch Show before some of our dialog might not make much sense to you, but you can log onto LOGO online to check it out (and you should…or we just might ask for your gay card back).

The very funny and talented cast for season two consists of veterans Erica Ash, Julie Goldman, Steven Guarino, Johnny McGovern, Kate McKinnon and Nicole Paone, also joined this season by two new cast members, Paolo Andino and Coleman Domingo, replacing Dion Flynn and Michael Serrato from last season.

In this episode we will check out two hilarious celebrity spoofs, one by Julie Goldman as Liza Minelli being Super Liza; a super hero who gets her powers from booze and a first rate impersonation by Kate McKinnon, doing Sally Fields way overacting a Boniva commercial . We also got to see a couple of Lesbians commenting on their exes at a gay bar, our favorite dancing assassin, Svetlana, strutting her stuff and eliminating her competition on Dancing with the Stars with partner Antonio Bandaras, an uproarious skit with gays ogling a hot Latin shipping clerk, and a too funny for words Dynasty Parody.

So without further adieu here is Beebo and The Gay Guy with our impressions of the The Big Gay Sketch Show season primer:

BEEBO: So, what did you think of the season premier?

GAY: I thought it was strong. Really strong. I defiantly like the new gay guys…Coleman Domingo, he was funny and Paolo was hot.

BEEBO: Yeah. But I miss Michael Soratto... the guy who played Mrs. G
(In unison) Girls... Girls…

GAY: Yeah he was great. You know what they need. They need a new girl

BEEBO : Why? Who isn’t working for you?

GAY: No, they’re all great… but they need guest stars.., like, on MAD TV and SNL. You know what they need… They need an Asian gay woman

BEEBO: An Asian.

GAY: Yeah! They need one

BEEBO: What kind of dynamic would that add Michael?

GAY: it would add a little more color to the rainbow. Someone like Margaret Cho...

BEEBO: Margaret Cho could be a guest star… I guess… but not part of the cast… Every time I see her on shows… she doesn’t do it for me… but her standup is good… love the standup.

GAY: I think she delivers and I think she would be a good edition.

BEEBO: But I do think they might have some guest stars. You know the Elaine Stritch lady?

GAY: Yeah! I love her.

BEEBO: I think she is going to be on this season.

GAY: Really! The real Elain Stritch... WRONG!

BEEBO: Yeah…and I read they might have a couple guest stars… like Kate Clinton and Christine Ebersole.

GAY: Really… who the fuck are they?

BEEBO: (Laughs) I don’t know... I Googled it.
Okay, so… what was your favorite sketch?

GAY- I’m going to have to say Super Liza (laughs).

BEEBO- I knew it… I loved Liza too. Julie Goldman played that shit perfect... really funny. I seriously fucking love her.

GAY: To be honest… she scared me when I first saw her on the BGSS last season.

BEEBO: Why?

GAY: I guess because she was so butch…the real butchie ones scare me.

BEEBO: Really!? I had no idea. But you loved the Celesbian Interviews on LOGO.

GAY: Yeah… I did… but now it’s different. She’s like soft on the inside and hard on the outside… like a Ho Ho. (laughs).

BEEBO: (laughs) Like the cake. (Laughs)… A Ho Ho... like someone you want to get to know know. You’re too funny.

BEEBO: So, what did you rate Super Liza?

GAY: A ten. The whole thing was just great. Steven Guarino’s crotch looked awesome. I mean look at his crotch. I saw a little Mexican lady coming out of a gate that wasn’t supposed to be there and she looked scared. That was funny. I loved the whole thing… My favorite lines were, “I summon the power of mama” and “ I work with retarded children”

BEEBO: Yeah.. and “C’mon you faggots”. That was one of the best Julie Goldman performances on the show to date. I hope its recurring…
I wonder if those were real martinis.

GAY: You would.
Now they need to do an Elizabeth Taylor. Like a parody of that crazy clip when she’s doing and interview and howls like a dog.

BEEBO: I love that! That would be awesome. Okay. What about the Sally Field Sketch?
GAY: I give Sally a solid 9

BEEBO: I give it a 10. That was my favorite one by far. She nailed that. I mean, the scene from Steal Magnolia’s is one of my favorite scenes ever. And we have been making fun of Sally Field lately ourselves, with all the Boniva commercials and Brothers and Sisters… So that had to be the winner for me… and she nailed it.

GAY: Yes, we like Kate in that… but Liza wins.

BEEBO: How about the Lesbian bar scene?

GAY: Watching it again I appreciated it because Kate Mckinnon makes all those great funny faces.

BEEBO: Agreed.

GAY: So I gave that one a 7

BEEBO: I agree a 7… but I liked it because it was so relatable. Every time I go to a gay bar most of the chicks are like twelve, unapproachable and all look like Shane from the L Word. It’s disgusting…

GAY: really... last time I went they were all young and butch

BEEBO: fun for you?

GAY: Yeah... lots

BEEBO: How about the UPS Sketch?
I see why you would like it but…

GAY: I gave it a 5… it was a little drawn out. But Paolo is hot and Johnny McGovern wasn’t as scary… and I really like Domingo.

BEEBO: I have to give it a three. I like the concept but…um… I though he was going to drop Kate at the end…So It lost all funny for me. (laughs). I was like nooo. Don’t hurt her… she’s too good.
Anyway…Okay how about the Svetlana sketch?

GAY: That one was really good… I gave that a 9

BEEBO: I give it a nine as well. Steven Guarino is great, and he can really dance…and the Melanie Griffith was spot on
GAY: yeah and Svetlana has a great ass…I loved the Melanie Griffith. (Laughs) “Anotnio… Antonio”.

BEEBO: How about Dynasty?
GAY: A six

BEEBO: A six… WOW! I thought that sketch was really really funny.

GAY: It was funny yeah, but…

BEEBO: I can’t point to why I think this sketch is so funny… I just started cracking up.

GAY: Maybe it was when the shoulder pads fell out of Nicole Paones coat that set you off

BEEBO: Maybe… or it’s Julie Goldman and Johnny McGovern as the body doubles…
Well, my favorite part is when they drag Nicole Paone in the pool…And then they all start fighting in there… I don’t know… it just stuck me as funny.

GAY: Okay a 7

BEEBO: was that all of them?

GAY: I think so.

BEEBO: Alright really quick who is your favorite BGSS person?

GAY: I have to say… I have a crush on Nicole Paone.

BEEBO: A little crush... (Laughs) she is hot.

GAY: And she’s from Jersey.

BEEBO: And she’s from Jersey… and funny… and hot

GAY: So cute

BEEBO: Well, you know who my favorite is

GAY: Yeah, Dion Flynn (laughs)

BEEBO: Who?… I do like the two new guys.

GAY: No... He was from the first season…You wouldn’t really know he was there… I know who it is…it’s Kate McKinnon.

BEEBO: And she was in every sketch.

GAY: Well, not Super Liza.

BEEBO: Yes she was.

GAY: No.

BEEBO: She played the little twink boy in the yellow polo that Liza had to save.

GAY: No she didn’t… wasn’t her.

BEEBO: Anyway… I love Julie Goldman too.

GAY: Meee too…She’s my number two and you know what we need, more Alicia Taylor.

BEEBO: Who?

GAY: The black girl.

BEEBO: You mean Erica Ash.

GAY: Yeah… that was a chick from the ghost whisperer…getting my shows confused. Yes… Erica Ash… She’s good… I want more of her.
Ooh today is Ash Wednesday by the way.

BEEBO: It is? hmmm. I’m not catholic… so
GAY: Me neither...If I need an ash I’ll just go outside.

BEEBO: Oh! You missed Rosi and Chasity Bono at the end. They were like the critics from the Muppets, eating popcorn and commenting on the show.

GAY: Why wouldn’t they be eating popcorn?

BEEBO: (laughs) Chasity looks like she’d be cute if…

GAY: Well, she was on celebrity fit club.

BEEBO: Really.

GAY: Yeah, obviously it doesn’t work for everyone.

BEEBO: Ha!

GAY: okay we’re signing out… till next time.

BEEBO: oh… okay…Bye.

Freedom To Love: Artist Speaks Out About The Wesboro Baptist Church

---

A few weeks ago, after getting an e-mail from friend and artist Danielle Kerese, Lesbiatopia posted an article about the gay hating members of the Westboro Baptist Church in Topeka,Kansas.

The disgust for these people and their spread of hate and negativity is felt by many. But instead of letting these bastards get the last word Danielle Kerese , who is straight, decided to do something positive and designed the artwork for a t-shirt on threadless.com as a form of positive counter statement to the WBC crazies.

Danielle Kerese says on the website:

I have just learned about a church group called The Westboro Baptist Church. These people are hateful and disgusting. Seeing their message displayed on the news is disturbing to say the least. Its really enough to make a person sick. I did this illustration as my own personal protest against their bull@#$^ and everyone else who preaches such ridiculous nonsense!
This design is about love, not hate.

So, I'm asking all of you to take time out today and vote on her design at threadless.com. Considering Danielle has supported us I feel it is our duty to support her. If Danielle's design gets enough votes and positive feedback then the shirt will be available for all of us to buy and wear proudly. But don't delay we only have five days left.

Click here to vote


Keep spreading the good gay word!
Beebo

---

---

Tags: Westboro Baptist Church, Danielle Kerese

The L Word Episode 505: Looking At You Kid

---

Jenny introduces us to the cast of her film and decides to throw a party in their honor. But we know its not all fun and games when it comes to these West Hollywood drama queens.

---

Max the Trans-gendered Detective
Everyone seems to love Jenny’s new assistant Adel. Jenny can’t live without her, Alice thinks she’s a cutie, Shane thinks she’s sweet and Tina thinks she might be a great asset to the production of Lez Girls. But when Adel’s stories start to get a little shady Max conducts a little back-round check. As it turns out, Adel’s stories about her past don’t add up and Max expresses his concerns to Jenny.
But when confronted Adel makes a good case for herself and the rest of the girls go right along with it. So, of course Max looks like the bad guy. Will the lesbo’s ever give Max the benefit of the doubt? Well, I’m with Max on this one. I think Adel is up to something. But Jenny has her head so far up her own ass she’s not going to notice until its way too late.

At this point I might as well get Jenny out of the way.

---

Jenny and Nikki in the closet (with Adel watching… gross)
Last week Jenny wasn’t too happy about casting Nikki Stevens in her movie but this week she’s singing a totally different tune. Thanks to Adel the two are getting along famously. I only say that because they end up fucking in Jenny’s closet. I wonder how that’s going to play out on the set. hmmmm
I do have to say that their love scene was one of my favorite L Word sex scenes ever. We haven’t seen a good FUN sex scene since Dana and Alice ( tear). Usually on the L Word we get a lot of “fuck scenes’ which gets a little boring. It was refreshing to see two ladies playing and having fun with each other.

While I’m on the subject of closets…

---

Out and About
This week, Alice “outs” basketball player Daryl Brewer on her website after she sees him gay bashing other homosexuals on TV. Before she knows it the whole thing goes viral and she’s defending her actions on national television. Alice makes some very excellent points and wins her argument (for now). You go girl!
Oh wait… What did you say? She’s dating a closeted lesbian… who is also being investigated for homosexual conduct by the military… and if she’s found guilty her whole life could be ruined. Shit! I forgot about that… and obviously so did Alice.
Tasha confronts Alice about her new found fame at Jenny’s party. The couple had a pretty nasty fight about the whole thing. I think this might be the end for these two. I kind of saw it coming. I know they really like each other, but sometimes love just isn’t enough to make a relationship work. Life has a way of getting in the way.

Speaking of fights…

---

Dawn Denbo and her Lover Cindy
Last week Shane had a threesome with “Dawn Denbo and her lover Cindy” the owners of SheBar. This week “Lover Cindy” wanted Shane all to herself. Shane did her best to fight her off, but “lover Cindy’s” vagina got in the way. No worries “Lover Cindy” said Dawn wouldn’t mind.
But I guess “Lover Cindy” doesn’t know Dawn Denbo as well as she thought. Just when Jenny’s party was getting good Dawn Denbo and her lover Cindy stormed in and threatened to ruin Shane for putting her skinny hands all over “lover Cindy’s” Hollywood Tan. The least Shane could have done was invite her (I guess they teach that at lesbian etiquette class).
Denbo isn’t just going to ruin Shane. She also threatened everyone at the party and even the Planet.
I don’t know who Dawn Denbo thinks she is, but no bitch fucks with my girl Kit! I’m leaving it up to the girls to take her down… Dawn Denbo the lesbo needs to go… and she has to stop saying “I’m Dawn Denbo and this is my lover Cindy.”

And while were on the topic of crazy fucking lesbians and their drama…

---

Caught Up In A Moment
Last week, Bette and Tina had a “weak “moment and hooked up. This episode, Tina tried to avoid the situation but Bette felt the need to talk about it (typical dyke). They both agreed it was a mistake but for some reason Bette still feels the need to use Tina as a “crutch” to salvage her “nowhere” relationship with Jodi and create more awkward moments (Yawn).
Later at Jenny’s party Tina asks Bette if she is in love with Jodi and Bette says “Yes” (seriously?).Then, Tina proceeds to gets shit faced ( awesome!) and Jodi has her crash on Bette’s couch so she doesn’t drive drunk (a responsible lesbian moment). Bette comes out of her bedroom and Jody tells her that Tina is sleeping on the couch. Then Bette stands there and stares at her (um…creepy).
I am so over the Bette and Tina thing. It’s been going on for over four years. Is anybody with me on this one?

Regardless of all frivolous crap that goes on in this show I really liked this episode. The L Word can be really funny sometimes. There were a few really great one liners. My favorite was in the beginning of the episode when Nikki was asking Adel for an opinion on a dress and Jenny says, “Don’t Listen to her. She wears mom jeans with camel toe… its true.” So great!
I also really enjoyed the party. It had good music, good friends, booze, pot brownies and skinny dipping. For a second you might think you were watching a home movie of you and your friends… I loved that you were able to relate to it.
The last personal highlight I’ll mention is being introduced to the people playing the characters in Lez Girls and experiencing the reactions from the actual characters. It was so much fun to watch Bette freak out and Shane screw around with the girl who “plays gay for pay”. I really can’t wait to see aspects of this come to life on screen.

I don’t know Ilene is going to fit all of these stories into the next 7 episodes but I have faith.

---

Make a Lesbian Fashion StatementShop at the

Rebecca Drysdale: A Celesbian Interview

A few weeks ago it was my very great pleasure to head over to the Upright Citizens Brigade Theater, here in the Big Apple, and attend the comedy show of none other then the star and creator of Lesbiatopia’s favorite-featured web-series, The Time Traveling Lesbian, Ms. Rebecca Drysdale.

Beck’s improv show, called "Happy Hour", is a performance by Beck and a group of very witty and talented actors doing some of the funniest shit I've ever seen. They have a few drinks, tell random stories and then make up skits about them. It was a really great show and I laughed my ass off. I can highly recommend that if you live in the area or if you are visiting New York City, pop into the UCB and check out one of these performances.

After the show, I drifted around the theater trying to find her. She's very tiny and hard to spot but I soon found her chatting it up with some of the other performers. I have to say this was my first interview and I was a little nervous, its not everyday that I get the chance to chat with someone whom I consider a comedic genius. But my nerves eased up as soon as I met her, because she was very real and very talkative. We then made out way over to a local pub where I got to talk to this very talented lady over some drinks and an omelete about her Time Traveling Lesbian project, her comedy and some current and future projects she is working on.

Rebecca Drysdale was Born in Akron Ohio, has lived France, Canada, Chicago and now finally New York City and she has been doing comedy since she was sixteen years old. She has preformed at Amsterdam's BOOM Chicago Theater, with The Second City National Touring Company, and at the Second City ETC in Chicago. She has also appeared at IO East and West, UCB East and West, The Magnet Theater, and The PIT.

Ms Drysdale is also the first ever recipient of the Break-Out Performer Award presented at the HBO Comedy Festival in Aspen, and she was named one of the "100 women we love" by GONYC magazine in 2006. Time Magazine called her one of the "Comedy Innovators" of 2006, and Variety said she is one of "Ten To Watch In Comedy". She also writes for one of my favorite comedy shows, LOGO's Big Gay Sketch Show. and it was Drysdale who wrote the "Lesbian Speed Dating" sketch we featured here on Lesbiatopia last week. ( FYI: she if you take a second gander, the girl in black you see in the skit is none other than Ms. Drysdale.)

Beck is a self-proclaimed drama master, sci-fi nerd and dork. She also says of herself, “Basically I am an eight-year-old boy who fucks girls.”

She buys most of her furniture in the children’s department at Ikea, is obsessed with her pets and watches kids movies.

Rebecca Drysdale's My Space page says this about her:

Just your typical 28 year old Jewish lesbo in the city, except that I'm not in a burlesque show and I will never give you a flyer for anything.

I love this town and my apartment and my dog and cat and two rabbits. ( well she used to have two but one died. She told me, "it got involved in gang violence... it was only a matter of time.")

I sleep late, drink iced tea, smoke camel lights, love star wars, legos, and a good PS2 game.

I like to spoil myself and make impossible things possible.

I like to splurge and indulge and play and I am a terrible speller.

I know the greatest people in the world and consider myself lucky to know them and get to watch them do what they do so well.

I like to think that everyone has super powers and are just being really responsible about using them. I like toys and farts and forts and time travel and pretending.

I'm not a big reader and I don't care.

I love Pixar movies and sci-fi and good pop music.

I have recently become very good at saying "I don't know", and find its a good way to learn things.

I find that having heroes is the most important thing, and you should tell them they are your heroes if you are lucky enough to get the chance.

I've been asked many times how I think being a gay woman effects my life in comedy.

I think being gay is like being in an a cappella group. Amazing and awesome, but also retarded and faggy.
A LITTLE SOMETHING I LOVE.

We started our interview with Rebecca telling me how her web-series Time Traveling Lesbian came in to existence. She says, "I was talking to my writing partner Jordan about ideas I was pitching to HBO in the development deal that I was in with them. In talking he said, “Well, why does it have to be anymore complicated than your Time traveling Lesbian.

She explained to me that in her one woman show,One Woman In Several Pieces, she did a lot of things that were personal in nature, but there was this one scene where she dressed up as a time traveler in a gladiator costume. She says, “It was kind of goofy but fun.” Drysdale liked the idea of using this concept to sell to HBO.

So she brought up the idea to her manager and agent.She continues, "they said, Nobody is ever going to buy that, it’s too niche…it’s not going to work.”
Not willing to give up so easily she told them, “Alright, I’ll make you a deal. I’ll work on the project that I’m working on with HBO but in every meeting I have with them I get to mention Time traveling lesbian.”

Her can do attitude paid off. She says, "We had this meeting with HBO in which we were talking about this pilot that I had originally written. We were talking and talking and at one point I said, “ It’s no Time Traveling Lesbian but it will do. There was this woman in the room, her name was Amy, and she was like, “What?” And I was like yeah…Time Traveling Lesbian… and gave a very nutshell version of the idea. And then they decided through their broadband department to buy time traveling lesbian.”

Beck then explains how everything almost fell apart and she had to take matters once again into her own hands. “So, I got a very good deal with them… but while it was happening the whole broadband thing fell apart and they weren’t doing anything with it. So, ultimately we appealed to them and were like, look your not doing anything with it can we just get it out there. And that was only a month and a half ago. It’s just been very recently that HBO has released it to us.”

Drysdale then turned her attention to the creative process behind TTL.

“I think for me it was less about making it funny then it was about making it watch-able. This idea is something that I really love and It’s very goofy…but, Originally I wanted it to be a show, but I got a web deal. So I had to turn this larger idea into three minute little installments. So, I tried to take the larger idea and make each episode be about one aspect of the show. Then, over the course of the eight episodes, you would think, this is what the show would be.”

She goes on to say, “When I watch it I’m like, “Oh My God, this isn’t funny.”… but I was trying to make it so you had to watch the next episode… in the end you have to stay on top of it. That was my goal. And that, I feel like I succeeded in. Even though it may not be the funniest thing you’ve ever seen.”

Then she went onto explain how her favorite television show helped formulate her idea.
“And, of course I owe all of that to Battle Star Galactica, which is the best show on television. In terms of telling a story that you have to watch the next episode to find out what happens. And of course, every episode of Battle Star begins with, “Previously on Battle Star Galactica.”

She continues, “So in the process of making TTL, I was like, I don’t have the luxury of making full episodes, but I can pretend that those episodes existed by putting all that information in recap form. I can tell a whole hour of story in three minutes. That was very much borrowed from Battle Star, which I thank them for. And I do have people say to me, Is it really previously on?” or “Is it really a show?”.. and that was they type of interest that I was hoping to start. I was excited about that…and now it like if I have another go around I can focus on it being funny.”

While we were on the topic of Battle Star, Rebecca explained how her love of science fiction has been a muse for her comedy.

“My writing partner Jordan and I left school together and spent all of our time watching science fiction and writing comedy. Watching the type of sci-fi that we watched, in this way or that, thematically found its way into our comedy. I mean Sci-fi, when it’s good, is satire. You talk about something without talking about it. You use certain themes but set them in a different place and time and I learned a lot about comedy through sci-fi… especially Battle Star Galactica. It is seriously the best show on television, it’s a drama about what is going on in the world now… but being allegorized… like a metaphor for what going on now… I call it “The West Wing in space”. Seriously, It’s so well done and it’s incredible television… I get so many people into that show… it’s pretty brilliant... and beats the shit out of LOST."

"I know I talk about Battle star like it’s the bible… but seriously, you’ll find a new way if you watch it. It very much inspired Time traveling lesbian, along side my love for time travel and my love for women.”

Beck then went on to say that the making of the TTL was really fun. “I had a lot of great people working with me. The girl who played the disco girl was my girlfriend at the time. The girl who plays my girlfriend is my best friend Drea”. Beck also had some performers from LOGO’s Big Gay Sketch Show helped her out and was joined by Nicole Paone who played a Roman queen in one episode and Kate Mckinnon who played the hippie in another. “It was really great having them with me.”

But Beck did say that the shooting schedule was fairly grueling; “ It was a five day shoot. We shot Rome and the whole hippie thing on the same day in the same vicinity. We started at like 5 o’clock in the morning. It was like a bazillion degree below zero. So during the shooting of the Rome segment I was freezing my ass off… everyone was freezing. Every time we changed shots people ran to us with blankets… it was so cold. Whenever I watch that episode I hate seeing how cold I was…I look so terrible… and it was so early”

“Then with episode 8, our last day of shooting started at like 4 o’clock in the morning… so that part where I take the yellow pages thing and pluck it out of the sky… well we had this whole plan to do a green screen thing… but we were fuckin’ exhausted, so I said, “let me just pluck it out of the sky… we don’t have time, we just don’t.” But whole experience making TTL was really great, and really fun.”

As our time together started wind to a close I asked Beck about the future, both hers and that of Time Traveling Lesbian and she told me, “I would love to do another eight episodes, because I would love to find out what happens and we still have a bazillion hours of footage from Time Traveling Lesbian we didn’t use that I would like to do something with. The only issue I have with that is sitting there and going through every fucked up take to find the funny stuff.”

“But with the original TTL we were just trying to pack in cliffhangers at the end of it and now everyone says, “What happens?” and I have to tell them, I don’t know… I just don’t know. But my theory or maybe my issue (with the fist installments) is, if the girlfriend was part of THE LEAK from the get go and Carl is part of THE LEAK from the get go, is THE LEAK even bad? I wanted to leave the TTL viewers with a sense of, “Wait, who are the bad guys? You know, intense drama and that’s what I liked about TTL… you got hooked and you got into watching it.

Beck continued on to say; “The reaction I’ve gotten from you guys and from the folks at AfterEllen is, “We want more episodes.” And that’s what I wanted too. So now I can go back to HBO and say, “Look, people want this to be a show.”

“But there are so many things that I wanna do that are like TTL... or on a spaceship… like an L Word drama in a toy box and make it like my one woman show which was, very political and edgy but still had a cowboy and Indian aspect to it.”

“Then I’m also working on a rap video that is about the L Word. I was working on trying to get a cameo on the L Word, but that never panned out…so I was like ( laughs) fuck it then… I’ll take you down. The song is called 'I’m gunna fuck my way through the L Word cast'… and its about me fucking my way through the l Word cast… yeah I’m trying to get funding for that… I love the L Word… I watch it… everyone does, but yeah trying to work on that.

“I’m also working on another web-series about the last two people who are left at the end of the world… a man and a woman in a post apocalyptic situation and their job is to repopulate the world… but the woman is a lesbian.”

“ And there is one other project that I’m working on… but it’s embryonic at best, it’s about video games… not about video games themselves, but using a lot of video game language and graphics… the show is called Nintendo Mii. I love video games… I don’t play a lot… but the culture is fascinating and the Wii is amazing. I also think its interesting how something that has always been considered reserved for the nerdy 14 year-old boy demographic is no longer confined to that."

But Beck confided to me with the writer’s strike at a stand still, the comedian says she is mostly just trying to do things that make her happy. “It’s hard for me because I support the strike…but I’m also broke.” She jokes, “As you can see I have a very high standard of living to maintain.”

Currently, Rebecca Drysdale says she spends a lot of her time at the Upright Citizens Brigade Theater in New York City performing shows on Wednesday and Saturday nights, were she is surround by alumni from Chicago’s second City, which she says has made her transition to NYC a little easier… (She’s only been here for two and a half years but she feels as though now she considers herself a real New Yorker) and she is also lending her time to teach improve to kids.

I would like to thank Beck for taking time out to chat with me. It was my sincere pleasure and a very enjoyable evening. All of us here at Lesbiatopia wish her the best of success (not that she needs it) and we hope to see a lot more from Beck in the future.

So now, without further ado, I present our final installment of Time Traveling Lesbian.


Online Videos by Veoh.com







Make a Lesbian Fashion StatementShop at the